Wednesday, 13 April 2011

Splendour In The Grass... Worth Your Money?

So the obvious answer is, "hell yeahz it'$ worth my money duuude. Thi$ iz $plendaaar!!" First things first, the way you talk makes me sick and just how do you do that amazing thing where you say 's' and it's interpreted as a dollar sign? Amazing. Sickening and amazing. But really, for those that want to experience a jolly good festival experience, complete with camping, is Splendour in the Grass really worth your $510? Glastonbury works out at roughly $400... Lollapalooza? $215 (and since the AUS dollar is so good at the moment, that's like $210 - OMG, DMY!)! Those are arguably the two premiere music festivals in the world and they're both much cheaper than Splendour (and Glastonbury has U2, Beyonce and The Chemical Brothers; Lolla snagged The Flaming Lips, Cat Power and The Killers). So now you're saying, "what you're meticulously describing is Australian promoters desire to bleed every cent they can from the young consumers that wish to attend their musical festivities." Wow, compare what you just said to how you were initially speaking at the beginning of this post. You've come a long way, baby. Now that you're thinking about how much of a rip-off Splendour is, let's look at why you'd be willing to pay $510 to go. "Wait, now you're going to sell us on $plendour?" I'm complicated... so yes. And well done on working that dollar sign back in your speech pattern.


Kanye West - it's his only Australian show. The man is at his creative peak right now so this would be prime time to see him. Did I mention it's his only Australian show. 'Gold Digger,' 'Power,' 'Stronger;' these songs were made for a festival crowd.

Regina Spektor - this isn't her only Australian show. Regina Spektor's only show for 2011 will be at Splendour in the Grass. Spektor is a performer. This is her one show of the year. Have you put two and two together yet, genius? She will make it incredible!

Quality Australian Music - The Grates, Pnau, The Middle East, Architecture in Helsinki, Gotye, Boy and Bear, Seeker Lover Keeper (featuring Sarah Blasko and Holly Throsby) and Hungry Kids of Hungary will make you happy little boys and girls. Some of our greatest talent will be on display.

USA #1 vs British Invasion - The Kills vs Does It Offend You, Yeah. Mars Volta and Noah and the Whale. Your main event? Pulp against Jane's Addiction. If you love your music French, Yelle will be there to rock your world too.

Kimbra - She's #1 on our weekly Top 20. That makes her awesome. Embrace the awesomeness.

Other Highlights - Kaiser Chiefs, Kele, Cut Copy, The Vaccines, Gomez. It's all good.

(if you're poor and need an excuse to justify not going)

Coldplay. That is all.

Let's get ready to $plendaaaar!

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