Tuesday, 10 May 2011

10 and 1 - Actor Slash Singer (and Not the Other Way Around)


Fabio: It's easier for her to be with you if she's listening to him...


There are some things you should always be wary of. Strangers with candy? That you should be afraid of. But when a celebrity wakes up one day and goes, "um... I wants to makes an albums," you should definitely be alert, not necessarily alarmed. That's right kids, this edition of the 10 and 1 is all about the worst celebrities-turned-singers and, of course, one of the best. Before we get into it, who won't be making an appearance? Gwyneth Paltrow, Will Smith, Lindsay Lohan (yes, Lindsay Lohan), Hilary Duff, Miley Cyrus and Paris Hilton (yes, Paris Hilton) stay in the 'not-entirely, but occasionally painful' category and Eddie Murphy... well making fun of his music career is just too easy. But his performance in Dreamgirls keeps him out of the 10... for now. Alright, let's meet the trash!


The 10:


Kim Kardashian - Turn It Up





It's bad enough when a real celebrity attempts to make us think that their karaoke-best could fool us into thinking they could be a singer. But a reality-TV star? Forget about it. I'd rather listen to Snooki rapping than KK's ridiculous attempt at becoming an electro-diva. "Turn it up, turn it up, turn it up, DJ." Kill. Me. Now.


30 Odd Foot of Grunts - Sail Those Same Oceans





Making movies, making songs... and fighting around the world (with Russell Crowe!).


David Hasselhoff - Jump In My Car



David Hasselhoff - Jump in my car by costyn


As the Hoff gets older, the girls in his videos get younger. The creep factor was high before, but now... If any German's can tell me what the fascination is, I'd be very grateful.


Tyra Banks - Shake Ya Body





Imagine if Beyonce had released 'Shake Ya Body.' It would have been huge! Haha, no... no it wouldn't have. But so far this is the least offensive song we've had the pleasure of hearing. You've heard from Tyra... but what of her biggest rival?


Naomi Campbell - Love and Tears





Who does she think she is... Grace Jones? I wonder how many phones were broken and production assistants harmed in the filming of the video for 'Love and Tears?' In all seriousness though, I think I'm going to be team Naomi over Tyra for this little battle. At least Campbell attempts to belt out a song. Key word: attempts.


Fabio - When Somebody Loves Somebody





This is just too much. It's also your new favourite song. The cheesy porn music, the soothing sounds of Fabio's voice and those deep, deep... deep lyrics. Hearing the big F actually sing the four words in this ridiculously named song will be the highlight of your day. "You see, I don't want to lose this lovely lady. You see, I plan to make her my baby." HA!


William Shatner - Rocket Man





Let's keep the love for spoken word music alive! With it, we can maintain a love for fictional space captains butchering classic songs with the most awkward delivery of all time. Sure, 'Common People' was funny. But when Shatner released 'Rocket Man,' he wasn't in on the joke. That's just sad.


Heidi Montag - Superficial





Yuck.


Bruce Willis - Respect Yourself





How he recovered from this, I'll never know.


Tammin Sursok - Pointless Relationship





Because I had to mention at least one former Neighbours or Home and Away cast member... and Danni Minogue's too easy. "The kids, the car, the dog and the SUV... will they ever agree." No.


The 1:


Toni Collette and the Finish - Beautiful Awkward Pictures





Toni gets the nod because more people should pay attention to her amazing music! Do it!

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