Monday, 11 July 2011

Totes Inappropes

Totally inappropriate. When you actually pay attention to some songs, they can make you feel more uncomfortable than Ke$ha as she waits for her results to come back from the clinic. That was low. How about the awkwardness when Britney Spears eats a cheesecake that was for everyone?

Anyway, my sister and I were discussing songs that need to come with an M rating (or at least a PG) to protect children from how offensive they really are. Won't somebody please think of the children! That's not to say that these songs aren't awful. On occasion they're that inappropriate funny where you laugh and remember that if there is such a place, hell has a dark corner with your name on it. Sister (Sledge) and her husband seemed to agree that Exile's 'Kiss You All Over,' is a track that should be deemed as totes inappropes. At the age of five, they knew that the bad man shouldn't want to be kissing them all over... and over and again.

On the other hand, those of us born after 1985 can likely only associate 'Kiss You All Over' with one thing...

You don't want breakfast?! Outstanding. The challenge for today was to find five songs that I would deem at creepy, gross, uncomfortable or, as the title implies, songs that are totes inappropes.

Inner Circle - Sweat

Because nothing gets you off like warm, salty tears. P.s. her big brown eyes are full of terror.

Mr Big - Daddy, Brother, Lover, Little Boy

This is like a therapists dream. Wanting to be her daddy, brother, lover and little boy goes beyond gross. Throwing in the term 'horizontal mile' as a metaphor for sex is the touch of class this song really needed.

Dean Martin - Baby It's Cold Outside

You want to know what's in that drink lady? It's a roofie.

Khia - My Neck, My Back (Lick It)

No comment.

Heart - All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You

If you were to compare this to a movie, that movie would be Monster.

1 comment:

  1. Oh my've outdone yourself. This is by far the funniest thing I've read in a long, long time! Thankyou.


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