Monday, 1 August 2011

Text Review - Splendour In The Grass 2011

Hi. How are you? How was your weekend? Great, great. Mine? I worked. Yes, Saturday and Sunday. What did you get up to? You went to Splendour? Eat my dust. Alright, so I'm not upset that I didn't go to Australia's major mid-year music festival. While it would have been nice to go and see some amazing music from acts like Kimbra, Seeker Lover Keeper, Gotye, Kaiser Chiefs and Kanye West... I think I'll get over not going. Or will I? Anyway, I was lucky enough to have someone on the inside sending me textual updates over the three days and they were priceless. Jocinta Priceless to be precise. Oh, sorry... in-joke. My friend Jo kept me entertained with her reviews which I will be posting right here, right now in what I hope is the first ever blog post that highlights a text review of a music festival. Jo's texts are in white, my replies are in yellow. Hopefully you can read them. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Jo has excellent grammar. You'll think otherwise as you read through her texts, but you need to know that at all other times... Jo's grammar is exceptional. It's better than yours and it's better than mine. It had to be said.

 and so, as i wait patiently 4 got-ya, my review so far: british sea power u were 11am fri for a reason. kimbra: f**king awesome!!! (u must see her live) wild beasts: sexy, sexy, sexy, grrr. the kills: its sunny in aust, get used to it. boy and bear: u didnt write ur most crowd pleasing song. black joe: soul pleasing goodness, love! :)

 I am still laughing at that British Sea Power review! I'm so happy Kimbra lived up to her reputation. The Kills can suck it. Boy and Bear's cover of Fall at Your Feet sucks and blows. God I hope Kimbra abuses the crowd during somebody that I used to know. Enjoy Gotye!! Keep the reviews coming.

 day 1 review pt 2. gotye: shame we couldn't hear u 4 ur 1st 2 songs, sack ur roadies. also shame ur biggest crowd reaction was 4 kimbra. u deserve better than that. no more festivals 4 u. hives: do u not have enough songs 4 1 whole set? stop speaking, start playing. kanye: we come to see u with the vague hope u might crack and have a tantrum, but even without that u dont let us down. u cant sing, play or dance but acts 1,2 and 3 were incredible anyway. a toast 2 kanye AND all the douchebags. now for day 2....

 I'm posting your reviews on my blog. They're that good.

 shut up! they're text reviews! limited word count!

 its lucky you weren't here, you would have died. seeker lover keeper just did a cover of a stevie nicks song. i was in the front row so i did a dodgy filiming of it for you.

 Oh. My. God. No f**king way!! How amazing!!

 day 2, part 1: fitz and tantrums: made me wish i was alive in the 60's, but the 60's were like now and fitz was there. fun fun fun! foster the people: we dance, we're depressed. odd. listened to the lyrics anyone? sparkadia: ur alright, but ur dusk timeslot and sunset intoxication helped u, a lot.

 day 2 pt 2: seekerloverkeeper: u deserve a more refined venue that woodfordia. somewhere i can kear a bass dance beat in the background. however, u made a filthy, smelly festival really, really pretty for an hr. beautiful. the grates: patience, put some pants on, take ur medication and calm down. ur an accident waiting to happen but if ur going to crash do it now while im bothering to watch. grates, ur good for a dance though.

 Ha! Outstanding. Where did patience's pants go?

 who? slk? they were beautiful, just beautiful. oh, and blasko said she cant marry you, shes a bit busy at the moment. she'll get back to you some other time ;)

 We'll see about that...

 b4 i start the drive 4 day 3! reviews-day 2 pt 3: mars volta: u know, if they just got rid of the self indulgent twiddling in every song, they'd actually be entertaining. thievery corp: i dont know much about them, but they make for a great dance on my way to the only semi-clean toilet at splendour. excellent. thumbs up to them AND the semi-clean toilet.

 day 2 pt 4 (sorry 4 lengthy review!): regina: i feel I should apologise to regina 4 having 2 play. her performance was ruined by poor acoustics and the incessant noise from pnau. a testament 2 her talent that i could still tell she was incredible and look 4ward 2 seeing her again, just not at a festival. janes: simply the greatest rock show ive seen. not opinion, fact. me, biased? nope. what of it?

 Haha that's awesome about jane's... Shame about regina though. Damn you Pnau and your highly entertaining disco dance music. Mars Volta can suck it!

 as i wait patiently 4 kaiser chiefs i send day 3 pt 1 - yelle: the red catsuit was a mistake but then so were the plastic flowers in 1000's of punters hair. vaccines: y'alright, but not breaking any new musical boundaries. every band cant be amazing. liam finn: what a shame talent isnt genetic. cloud control: unfortunately 4 them, their crowd antics were more interesting than their set. they've got a loyal following tho, good on them.

 Kaiser Chieeeeefs!!!

 OH MY GOD!!!! kaiser chiefs = ROCK!!!! so, so, so, so, so good. they just finished, not the long wait 4 pulp. ps real review to follow later! ha!

 pulp. like i hoped for kanye i hope jarvis cracks and does something mental. theres always the chance :)

 day 3 pt 2 - vines: whoever thought loud and boring went together? kaiser chiefs: provided 1 of the best live singalong moments ever. geeks from the uk know how 2 rock! pulp: wow, what a showman jarvis is. who couldn't love a manic man in a velvet suit? awesome. a geek from the uk who knows how to dance! coldplay: they came on, the crowd sang along. they are what they are, midroad rock. people love it. i liked it better from the carpark as i left.

 the music festival: where u get 2 c bands u hate and love it and u get 2 c bands u love and love it. there u go mr bond, my txt reviews complete. now get blogging :)

Best text reviews ever. Thank you, Jo!!

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