Wednesday, 18 July 2012

Who Do You Think You Are - Katie Langley

Meet Katie! She likes to rock out, spits rhymes with the best of them and loves men with beards.

You don't know the drill by now? Get out. KIDDING! Stay, stay. Good... good. It's Wednesday, so that means we're talking to one of our beautiful Facebook likers about all things music. This week, Australian rap sensation K-Tizzle aka Katie Langley takes centre stage to talk about dinner parties with music stars, Nicki Minaj, her dream festival and more. If you read her hilarious review of Lady Gaga's show in Brisbane this year, you'll know you're in for a treat. Let's get to it!


Q. What music are you listening to at the moment?


Katie: Die Antwoord. I fink they’re freaky, but I like them a lot. It took me a long time to ‘get’ Die Antwoord. Ninja’s weird rapping, Yolandi’s high pitched squeaking – it’s just a little bit odd. But that’s exactly why I love them now. Plus, they have a lyric about Nutella (“Nutella on my sarmie” – Rich Bitch).

Crosses. Chino Moreno (Deftones) can do no wrong in my opinion. Even those baggy Dickie pants he wore at the height of the Deftones phenomena rocked my 15 year old selfs world. Crosses is beautiful. Chino’s voice is haunting.

Combichrist. I saw these guys earlier in the year and they blew my mind. Actually, if I’m honest, I spent most of the show lusting after Trevor Friedrich on percussion. He climbed all over his drum kit like Spiderman – it was amazing. It’s music to drive to. And bang to.

Q. Which five music stars, living or dead, would you invite to a Katie Langley dinner party and why?

Katie: My dinner party is too incredible to confine to 5 music stars, so I selected 6.

1. Lil Jon – You know that Lil Jon is up for a good time. I mean, he’s the King of Crunk! Anyone who sings about “Shots shots shots shots shots shots shots shots shots shots” is welcome at my dinner party.
2. Cypress Hill – I’m not insane in the brain – My dinner party needs dessert and I hear they make wicked brownies.

Cypress Hill are going to need to make A LOT of brownies.

3. Marilyn Manson – Have you seen Mazza lately? He’s clearly been enjoying a few too many dinner parties, so what’s one more?
4. Courtney Love – She’s like a car crash waiting to happen and I can’t turn away. Plus, she and Manson in the same room is likely to make for interesting dinner conversation.

Run, Courtney! He's got a taste for blood now!

5. Kayne West – Ima let him come to dinner, but only if he admits to being the ultimate wanker of the world.
6. The Beards – A wizard needs a beard, a pirate needs a beard, a hippy needs a beard, and my dinner party needs beards.

Q. Who do you think are the greatest songwriters in music today and why?


Katie: Rappers are quite obviously modern day poets. Take Nelly’s “Grillz” –

“I got da wrist wear and neck wear dats captivatin'
But it's my smile dat's got these on-lookers spectatin'
My mouth piece simply certified a total package
Open up my mouth and you see mo carrots than a salad
My teeth are mind blowin' givin' everybody chillz
Call me George Foreman 'cuz I'm sellin' everybody grillz.”

Lyrical genius, right?

Q. Nicki Minaj... yay or nay?

Katie: Nicki Minaj? More like Nicki Min-NAH! She might have the super bass, but to me she’ll only have a super ass. Seriously, have you seen that thing? I’m sure Sir Mix-A-Lot would answer “yay”.

Q. Describe to us your dream music festival.

Katie: My dream music festival would be all about comfort:

 • Lots of covered areas to hide from the pesky sun (and rain – don’t make me sook about Soundwave 2012 again).
• Sparkling clean toilets.
• Golf buggies to transport you to different stages.
• Massages for tired feet and backs.
• Showers.
• Nap areas for that 3pm to 5pm lull.
• A ban on fairy wings.
• A rule that sweaty men must keep their shirts on.
• Bean bags.
• A cage for punters with Southern Cross tattoos.

Frenzal Rhomb would open the day, because that’s how all good music festivals start. Then I’ve love to see some artists that I’ve never had the chance to see before – brace yourself, it gets weird and wonderful - Ace of Base, Mindless Self Indulgence, Dog Fashion Disco, INXS, the Spice Girls, The Donnas, Cradle of Filth, 50 Cent, MIA, KMFDM, Peaches, and Har Mar Superstar.


After I’ve napped, showered, and had my massage then I’d love to end the evening with the hilarity that is TISM. The caged punters would be delivered to the stage for their final song “Whatareya?”(A yob or a wanker? Google the lyrics).

I want to go to Katie-Fest! Golf buggies to transport you to different stages? Now everyone can feel like Wayne Coyne from the Flaming Lips! Let's be honest though, it's really the ban on sweaty men removing their T-shirts and the segregation of those with Southern Cross tattoos that's really sold me on the event. Big thanks to Katie Langley for her awesome answers! Don't forget kids... you could be next!  

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