Saturday, 18 August 2012

10 and 1 - Hell Hath No Fury

L7 and Joan Jett... women who rock!

Where have all the angry women in music gone? Yeah, no... P!nk is not angry. No, no... neither is Avril Lavigne. In fact, even the two of them are a whole lot less 'angry' than they used to be. Av-Lav lost the emo-tude, the ability to play the guitar and is happy to dwell in the land of catchy-yet-dumb pop. P!nk went from being sorta/kinda angry in the most forced pop star way to being the kind of angry that makes the over-forties singles feel a bit naughty. "It's just U + Ur Hand tonight. Ha! What a riot!" So ladies, take note... here are some acts to bring out the Shiva within! Since it's a '10 and 1' we of course have to offer a counter to these 10 angry ladies, so we're just going with one lady that makes us angry. And not in a good way.

THE 10:

Alanis Morissette

It's a scientifically proven fact that if you ask someone to name an angry female rocker, 98.4% of people will say Alanis Morissette. With immortal lines like, "are you thinking of me when you f*ck her?" it's easy to understand why. She may have mellowed out, but we'll always be able to scream along to the ultimate angry break-up song, 'You Oughta Know.' 

Courtney Love

Poor Courtney... that is all. 


Here we have my sister's favourite angry riot grrrls. L7 were known as some of the leading ladies of grunge, campaigned for Pro-Choice rights and occasionally threw a tampon at festival crowds while screaming, "Eat my used tampon, f*ckers!" Ok, that only happened one time. But it's pretty awesome... oh, and disgusting. Yeah... disgusting. 

Babes in Toyland

They totally threw Courtney Love out of their band. How awesome. 

Joan Jett

She's got a bad reputation, she loves rock and roll and she hates herself for loving you. Joan Jett brought the female rocker to the forefront of the music industry, hitting the top of the charts with 'I Love Rock and Roll' - the 56th biggest song in US Billboard's history. Sometimes referred to as 'The Original Riot Grrrl,' Jett earned producing credits for genre staples like Bikini Kill and is still looked at as one of the greatest female rockers of all time. 


Skunk Anansie's incredible frontwoman Skin famously deemed the band to be 'clit-rock;' "an amaglam of heavy metal and black feminist rage." And Nicki Minaj thinks she's bad. 

Bikini Kill

Girl power? Angry woman power!

Azealia Banks

What? You don't think Azealia Banks qualifies when she's yelling at you that she's, "gonna ruin you c*nt,"? How many times a day does someone that's happy yell that at you? Banks is one of the only women in music today that brings the rage. 

Kelly Clarkson

I admit, "I hope the ring you gave to her turns her fingers green, I hope when you're in bed with her, you think of me," pales in comparison to asking whether or not she'll go down on you in a theatre, but 'Never Again' is the closest we've gotten to hearing 'You Oughta Know' part 2 on the airwaves. 


She ain't going to think twice about punching your lights out and clawing your face if you snap a photo of her at the airport. 

THE 1:

Kim Kardashian

You. You stay away from music. It's bad enough I have to see ads for your unnecessary TV shows and body slimming products every two minutes. Already I imagine you're working on some crappy album with Kanye, but seriously... leave music alone. You're not angry, you just make me angry.      

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