Thursday, 2 August 2012

It's All Coming Back To Me Now - All The Colours Of The Wind

The White Stripes were quite the colourful characters...

by Jo Michelmore

Someone spoke to me today about what my favourite colour was. My favourite colour? None of your business. I don’t have one. I have many. It depends on the situation really, doesn’t it? I mean, I like red, but I don’t like red when it’s in reference to traffic lights. I hate red lights. They’re the most annoying thing standing between me and where I need to be, now. Yellow? I like yellow, but not as the colour of someone’s fingers. Yellow fingers means liver disease and that’s not a good thing now, is it? I like black, but I don’t like it when my yellow bananas have turned black. That’s just gross and annoying, because I love bananas, but only ripe ones. Orange? It’s alright but it’s the colour of comedy. Blue? The colour of the sky, yes, the colour of the bruise on my leg when I’ve smashed into the lounge chair while trying to run to the radio to turn that incredibly annoying Coldplay song off? No, that bluey/purple I don’t like. Would I run to the radio to turn off any bands named after a colour? Let’s see, probably yes, if any radio station played the song I talk about last. Until then, we have these….

Black Sabbath
, 1969

You know who Black Sabbath are? No, me neither really, but they have a colour in their name so they make the list. I mean, I know the name, I know the legend, but the songs? Not so. Somewhere, someone is cursing me, I know. (Sorry dude. You like being called dude, right?) Oh they did that 'Paranoid' song, yeah? Ozzy Osborne, prancing around 70’s style, singing about how hard life is to heavy guitars and drums. Yep, that’s Black Sabbath. That’s also Deep Purple, right? That's also Motorhead, yeah, and Led Zepplin? Right, now I’m starting to offend people aren’t I? Ok, enough.

Red Hot Chili Peppers, 1983

They’d never have made the blog if they stuck with their original name ‘Tony Flow & the Miraculously Majestic Masters of Mayhem’. Lucky for them they decided on RHCP instead. Unlucky for them, they’ve had a colourful (ha, get it?) history, but at least two members have always remained constant, so we won’t label them with the ‘insert name here…incorporated’ tag, yet. Anthony Keidis is still doing this weird moustache thing, but if it keeps him off the smack I say that’s ok. For so many, they seem to fall into that “I like their old stuff better than their new stuff” category, but I just like the fact they still exist, when so many others couldn’t see through the 90’s, let alone anything after. They’re getting on now you know. Soon they’ll be the Rolling Stones. Good on em, old fellas.

The White Stripes, 1997

The White Stripes. Meg White and Jack White. Did you read that? Jack White. Jack. White. Yep. I’m still obsessed. Oh Jack. I saw him at Splendour, don’t you know? Jack White. Oh Jack. Sigh.

Aqua, 1997

Come on, you know the words, you’ve sung the words, you love the words. Even if you don’t remember Dr Jones, you know the one I’m talking about. Everyone has a little secret spot in their hearts for it, whether you’ll admit it or not. I happily wear it on my sleeve, I know all the words and I like to do them with a weird accent at karaoke. Yep. “Life in plastic, it’s fantastic!”

Colour Me Badd, began and hopefully ended in 1991

You know how Matt gave Eiffel 65 the coveted number one, in the 10 and 1 earlier this evening? You know how he said we weren’t thinking a lot at the end of the 90’s? I say we weren’t thinking a lot at the start either. The middle was good, but the other bits? Maybe not so. Colour Me Badd. What? What? WHAT? What happened here? This actually happened? Oh, this isn’t bad, this is terrible. Were these the reject Vanilla Ices? Were these guys the ones who didn’t make the cut for the New Kids On The Block audition process? Can someone explain ol’curly hair and pointy nose to me? The extra creepy one with the round glasses? George Michael there? The one with the cap just hanging around with the incredibly bad dance moves, could you even sing? In the one song I know, all he did the entire song was say something awfully pervy and “girl enjoy the ride”. Uuuuuuuuurrrrrrgh. Stop it. Colour Me Badd? Yes, bad was an understatement.

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