Wednesday, 22 August 2012

The K-Tizzle Sizzle - The Ancient Art Of Karaoke

...and the Karaoke Code
by Katie Langley

Over the last couple of years my friends and I have developed a love of karaoke. Yeah, you heard me. It all started very innocently grooving along to late night karaoke programs on Foxtel and judging Sue’s* obscure country song choices week after week, but before long we’d all caught the bug and became semi-regulars at Queen's Karaoke. It doesn’t matter to us that the venue is mostly geared towards K-Pop wannabes and that the toilet has a sign that says, “Toilet may block lol!!” They have private rooms, tambourines, and Seal – what more do you need?

C’mon, what’s not to love about karaoke? Sure, there’s a lot of bad cringe-worthy singing, and awkward silences, but that’s all part of the appeal! But for Christ's sake people, follow the karaoke code.

Repeat after me…

1. I will not steal fellow karaoke-ers songs...


There’s nothing worse than a karaoke thief. No one likes that guy. Don’t be that guy.

On a European adventure a couple of years ago, my friend Alana and I found ourselves at a pub in Frankfurt, Germany on karaoke night. Jackpot! After a little liquor to calm the nerves Alana settled on 'I Love Rock’n’Roll' as her song selection. “Good choice,” we agreed, “the crowd will love it”. The night ticked on, and we started to become doubtful that Alana was going to get her turn when we suddenly heard the familiar song… “Yes! Yes, you’re up! Wait… What is the MC doing?” Quicker than we could say, “put another dime in the duke box baby,” the MC had morphed into Joan Jett and was giving it her all. Alana was robbed.

2. I will not take myself too seriously...


Fact; for most of us mere mortals our singing should really only be confined to the shower or the privacy of our vehicles. Own it! Embrace it! Your testy blow-outs are what keep me coming back to karaoke. Yes, I am laughing at you. And yes, I hope you’ll laugh at me too as I puff my way through 'Baby Got Back' and dance inappropriately.

Let’s be honest people, it is not an audition for Australian Idol – no, I’m sorry; you are not going to Sydney.

Before being ‘robbed’ at karaoke in Frankfurt, Alana and I were entertained by two German’s during their rendition of Nirvana’s 'Smells Like Teens Spirit.' Not only did it sound hilarious with a German twang, but they hyped the crowd up with a bit of leg guitar. Yes, leg guitar. One guy held up his leg while the other rocked out.

3. I will keep the number of obscure songs to a minimum...

*Sue, bless her cotton socks, is a regular punter at the “Funda Down Unda” karaoke event at the Royal English pub at Nundah. I love Sue; I really do, because getting up in front of an open pub to belt out a tune takes guts. But if Sue has taught me anything it’s that song selection is vital (wait, maybe this is Australian Idol). Week after week she serenades the crowd with obscure country selections. Queue crickets.

Right, have you got that? Are we clear? Now, enough of that. Let’s get back to judgement. After all, that’s really what karaoke is all about…

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