Wednesday, 29 August 2012

The K-Tizzle Sizzle - The Pantless Posse

Put your pants on, little monsters...

The Pantless Posse
by Katie Langley

Pop tarts – it’s time to put on some pants! This pant-less trend has gone way too far. Can’t we all just be content with the one day a week already dedicated to being pant-less? (Wait, you don’t participate in pants-off Friday? Awkward)

What started as a cool and edgy point of difference has turned into another annoying trend. Like overalls. And trucker caps.

Being pant-less is by no means a new fad. Cher and Madonna have been rockin’ the look for years now. And even Ginger Spice has been known to whip her pants off. On stage too. Badoom-tish.




The rise of stars like Beyonce and Lady Gaga has taken the pant-less trend to dizzying new heights. In fact, it’s rare to actually see those bitches properly attired. And no Gaga, the meat dress and egg do not count.


Ultimately this has had a flow on effect to tartlets like Ricki Lee. In her recent video for “Do It Like That” not only was she sans pants, but she also completed the look with white joggers. I’m sure you’ll all agree that this is offensive on many levels.

Why haven’t any of the male pop stars joined the pant-less posse? I think I speak for all when I say we’d love to see Ricky Martin shaking his bon-bon without trou. Oh, wouldn’t that be livin’ la vida loca!

I can only hope that the pant-less look is not the way of the future. This would require me to actually keep on top of shaving my legs. What? It’s my winter coat. But quite frankly, I just don’t want to take the risk of running into my fellow neighbours without pants down at the local IGA. Neil, you’re a friendly guy, and I do enjoy our neighbourly banter as we both take out the bins on Tuesday evenings, but I’d rather not have to deal with you with your daks off.

The future looks... cold? Down there...

Pop tarts, we get it. You’ve got legs. You like to show them off. But seriously, it’s so passé. Get yourselves down to Just Jeans for two pairs of jeans for $99.95, have a cup of tea and come up with a new trend. I hear beards are becoming quite popular…

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