Wednesday, 8 August 2012

Who Do You Think You Are - 1000th Post Spectacular

Things just got spectacular!

1000th Post Spectacular
aka Who Do I Think I Am?

Tonight is a special night for It's My Kind of Scene. You see, with this feature you're reading right now, we've hit the big one-zero-zero-zero. No, we're not quite 1000 years old (we will be one day, just you wait!), but we have posted a thousand random pieces of music news, reviews, countdowns, ramblings, failed attempts at humour and even some mildly successful attempts. It's been awesome. Especially the awful, awful jokes. Anyway, how are we celebrating? As is the norm around here, what was planned for hitting this epic mark will be delayed a bit, so I'm being slightly narcissistic and doing something I've wanted to do since we started the feature. I'm taking part in 'Who Do You Think You Are!' What? I just so happen to like our Facebook page too. Don't worry, I'm not being a total creep, answering questions I've asked myself. Instead, Jo's come up with some fun questions (and some damn hard ones too) for me. Let's get to it. Boom!

Who is this guy?

Q. What was the first song you heard today?

Matt: I got in my car this morning, put my iPod on shuffle and what came on first? 'Exploding Boy' by The Cure! Usually the first shuffle song is a fail. Not today! 

Q. What was the last song you listened to today?

Matt: Tame Impala's 'Elephant' is playing at the moment. Does that count? It doesn't? Well, 'City Girl' by The Jezabels was on before that. 

Q. Who would be in your dream band with you?

Matt: Ah, you see that depends; am I in a dream band with established rock and/or roll stars, or am I in a band with my friends? I've got some time so I'll answer both of those mini-questions I've just asked myself. 

Who's in my celebrity dream band? Vocals - Matt Bond. I'm not changing my name, it's cool enough... right? Think of me as the blending of Freddie Mercury's vocals, David Bowie's fashion sense, Eddie Vedder's songwriting talent and Justin Timberlake's sex appeal. It's my dream band so I can be my dream self. Why won't you let me be my dream self?! Drums - Meg White. Calm down, she will never be allowed to sing. Ever. That's in her contract. And sure, she's not the craziest drummer out there, but she looks pretty cool on stage and... ... ... I just didn't want to pick Dave Grohl because it's so predictable. Bass - Jeff Ament. If he's good enough for Pearl Jam, he's good enough for me. Lead Guitar - Lindsey Buckingham. Mostly because it will be fun to have him in the band with... Vocals/Tambourine/Whatever She Wants - Stevie Nicks. That's right. Everyone's favourite time-traveling vampire brings that much needed spark of unpredictability wrapped in immense talent and craziness and coke-fueled partying binges. Fights with Buckingham are a certainty. Meg White told me she thinks Stevie's a total slag. Ament's threatening to quit if she doesn't go. But when we get into the studio to record, setting aside our differences... magic happens. Magic! What's our band name? Matt Bond and The Machine! Nah... Matt Bond and The Magnetic Zeros! No? Uh... The Matt Bond Experience. Yeah, that will do. 

Non-celebrity dream band? After having minor hits as part of a Presets inspired electro duo with my friend Drew, I end up moving in a more alternative-rock direction as Drew checks in to a rehabilitation facility in San Francisco. It's a terrible thing that sex addiction. Famous music writer, Jo Michelmore, is starting a Dresden Dolls-ish group and I join, causing controversy while exposing my nipple at the MTV VMA's. Everyone is confused, but sales of our album Music is More Than Lyrics, It's Also About the Melody increase dramatically and we win the Grammy for Album of the Year. In-fighting and Jo's constant rehab stints (it's a terrible thing that sex addiction) lead to the band going on a permanent hiatus at which point I completely sell-out, hitting the top of the charts worldwide with my collaboration with Ke$ha; 'Drunk Ho Party Fun Time.' Before I go out the honourable rock star way (aged 27 - two years from now), I take a young, up-and-coming rapper from relative obscurity and make her a star overnight with the track; 'Drunk Bitchz All Up In Ma Grillz 4 U.' That rapper's name? Katie Langley aka K-Tizzle. 

Q. There's a movie being made about the story of your life. What's the smash hit single and who's performing it?

Matt: 'If You Thought The Movie Was Boring (Wait Until You Hear This Song)' by Coldplay ft. Rihanna.

Q. Your Grammy award winning speech is?

When did they introduce the Douchebag of the Year category?

Matt: Yes, thank you. Thank you. Please... you're too kind. I graciously accept this award for Album of the Year on behalf of my band. Jo is sorry she couldn't be here tonight. It is indeed a terrible thing that sex addiction. But enough about that, let's talk about this award and how little it means. Sure, it's nice, it's gold... it's a big gold gramophone that Homer Simpson couldn't even give away. For what is the Grammy's really but a night for the big record companies to give each other a pat on the back, occasionally letting one of the little guys sneak through the cracks. Hey, Bon Iver? Justin Bieber was nominated for Best New Artist? What? Why? Why not Rebecca Black then? Katy Perry's Teenage Dream nominated for Best Album? Urgh... whatever. Thanks for the trinket. Have a good night... I'm going to get boozed. (The next day I sell out by signing with Sony records)

Q. The zombocalypse has arrived. You're the only human left and we all know the only way to survive is to hit the zombies in the head. A rabid mob of music stars are lurching after you, which zombie musician would you like to hit first and who would you hesitate for?

Matt: It's the zombie apocalypse... there is no time for hesitation! I've read World War Z, I've seen Romero's classic films; I'm heading for high ground, preferably a castle with a moat in a location that has freezing winters. I guess I've got to get away from these rock-zombies first... so... BAM! Down goes zombie-Minaj. BAM! Down goes zombie-Eminem. Sorry, zombie-Eddie Vedder. BAM! Britney and Keith Richards? Probably should check, but there's no time for hesitation. BAM, BAM!

Ok, first things first I eat your brain, then I'mma start rockin' gold teeth and fangs...

Q. You're a super famous, super talented, amazing musician doing a world tour. Who is your support act?

Matt: Madonna. I hired her... just so I can fire her! That's for hating Australia! I'd take plenty of Australian bands around the world to show them off to world audiences. Bands and artists we love like; Astrid and the Asteroids, The Medics, Emma Louise, The Trouble With Templeton, The Cairos, The Presets, Seeker Lover Keeper and Sarah Blasko. A couple of dates for each of them. Then I'd have seven amazing sold out shows at Madison Square Garden with M.I.A supporting me.        

Q. Favourite live music memory? Worst live music experience? 

Matt: There can't just be one favourite with all the music I've seen. The first time I saw The Flaming Lips (at the Green Man Festival in Wales) will be with me forever. Bjork performing 'Hyperballad' five seconds after I "requested" it last year at Bestival. Finally hearing Pearl Jam play 'Black' live at Hard Rock Calling. Being front row the first time I saw them in Brisbane. Seeing Britney Spears. That's in the favourite pile, deal with it. Aqua, The Vengaboys. Yeah... them too. Oh, how about that time I hugged Missy Elliott... during 'Work It!' That was awesome! Emma Louise silencing a room with '1000 Sundowns' would be my most recent favourite live music memory. None of these would be as important as they are if it wasn't for the friends I was there with. You haven't seen Pearl Jam live if you haven't seen them with Sophie Dunne; screaming in Lindsey and Jess' faces for approximately five minutes after embracing Missy Elliott at the 02 Wireless Festival; laughing and jumping and dancing and singing to The Vengaboys (and riding the Vengabus) with Alana and K-Tizzle; relishing the final magical moments of Bestival with Iona, Andrew and Karen; forgetting if Britney had already "sung" 'Stronger' with Nick Lake ("Nick, that was three songs ago!"); laughing and laughing with Jess, Alana, Jo, Katie, Lindsey and Jess at Aqua; bouncing around uncontrollably with Ellie, Cordell and Jo at Kimbra; hearing The Dresden Dolls' 'Boston' or '1000 Sundowns' from Emma Louise with Jo and not even needing to say, "that was the best thing ever to happen ever;" sweating it up at The Presets with Drew as Alana and Jess take stalker photos of me wiping sweat off my face from above at The Tivoli. Awesome live music with awesome friends... that's what makes my favourite memories.

Worst live music experience? That's easy. Daniel Merriweather's cover of Nine Inch Nails' 'Closer.' I don't mean to be so harsh, but that was the worst performance of any song ever that I've had to stand through. I literally held my head in my hands and asked, "is this really happening?" Just thinking about it is upsetting... so let's not talk about it. Ever. Again. 

Q. Is there any artist that you think you will love, always, no matter what they do or say or write? 

Matt: You mean, "other than Rebecca Black," yes? Seriously though... Eddie Vedder, Shirley Manson, Stevie Nicks (and she's said some crazy stuff), Kanye West (says dumb things all the time, you get over it)... the list could go on.

Q. Pick a song that best describes your two writers. Choose one that best describes Katie and one that best describes Jo.

Matt: Katie Langley - 'You Should Consider Having Sex With A Bearded Man' by The Beards. Because she would? Gentlemen with fine facial hair; Katie is single and ready to mingle. 

Jo Michelmore - 'You Oughta Know' by Alanis Morissette. Ok, not what I'd use as a decription for Jo (to her face)... but I've heard her sing it that many times at karaoke, I now believe she originally wrote and performed it. Sorry Alanis. 

Q. What is music to you?

Matt: I'm not going to say that music is everything to me because I want to believe that I've got more going on in my life than I probably do. I will say that music is a very important part of my life and one that makes me incredibly happy. And sad. Music makes me feel excited, angry, surprised, inspired, amused, relaxed and sometimes even hopeful. Music is my friend that's always there and when my friends are around, it's even better. Music is the best way to start my day and it's how I go to sleep. Let's face it, I don't have more going on in my life... music is everything to me.

Q. Without music, where would you be?

Matt: Without music, where would any of us be? The world would be pretty dull (not that we'd know any different, since music never existed - am I reading into this too much?). Let's just make this simple. In a world without music, it's likely that we never evolved past the neanderthal stage. So where would I be? In the jungle or living in a cave, fighting tigers, freaking out over fire, flinging excrement at my friends and thinking it was hilarious. Did I say this was the simple response? Sorry, I meant the ridiculous response. I don't want to live in a world without music. It's like when people ask if you'd rather be blind or deaf. Take my green eyes, leave me with my music.

No Music = No Life, or Ho Music = Ho Life. Both work.

Q. What's your favourite thing about writing your blog?   

Matt: The perks I get because of writing for it of course! Invites to all the big awards shows, millions of dollars in advertising revenue, freebies from the big record companies, concert tickets... Oh, this isn't one of the dream questions? My favourite thing about writing for It's My Kind of Scene is simply having someone say, "I really enjoyed reading that post about [insert topic here]." Knowing that someone is enjoying the blog makes all the time and effort that goes into getting this thing to work worth it.

Q. What exactly is your kind of scene?

Matt: Well played, Jo, but I think we all know the answer to this one. (From Wikipedia) It's My Kind of Scene is the best lil' music blog on the internet today. It's been around for 1000 posts and continues to grow; bringing in new writers, new features, awesome new countdowns and so much more. It wouldn't be anything without its beautiful readers, old and new, that share the fun with us. 1000 posts have come and gone and we promise that the next 1000 will be even better, slightly funnier and continue to highlight our love for all things music. Thanks for reading! 



  1. Matt bond, would you say music is EV-E-RY-THING to you (30 seconds to mars film clip style!) ?

  2. Alana McDonald, you already know the answer to that question! Yes. Yes I would!

  3. I feel so close to u right now. Kind of like we're lying in bed nakes. I know your soul! And Kanye? Come on!

  4. Haha, Bella. I miss your face! You love the Yeezy!


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