Wednesday, 12 September 2012

The K-Tizzle Sizzle - That Awkward Moment When...


That Awkward Moment When...
You Realise What You're Singing
by Katie Langley

The radio is on. You’re groovin’ along. You don’t really know the words but you’re giving it your best go when wait… Hang on, huh, what am I singing? We’ve all been there. Let’s call it “The awkward moment you realise what you’re singing”.

by Flo Rida 


“Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby
Let me know
Girl I'm gonna show you how to do it
And we start real slow
You just put your lips together
And you come real close
Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby
Here we go”.

Now stop (collaborate and listen). Think. Mull it over. Noodle on it.

That song is about blowjobs, right?

This song just makes me feel uncomfortable now, especially in the whistling part. It just doesn’t feel right puckering my lips… I’ll stop there.

Candy Shop
by 50 Cent


I watched the disgust on a friends face at karaoke recently when she realised the words to 50 Cent’s “Candy Shop”. Those bullets to the face have given him a fairly severe mumble, so it wasn’t until the words flashed across the screen that she realised what she was boppin’ along to.

“Give it to me baby, nice and slow
Climb on top, ride like you in a rodeo
You ain't never heard it sound like this before
Cause I ain't never put it down like this
Soon as I come through the door, she get to pulling on my zipper
It's like it's a race, who could get undressed quicker
Isn't it ironic how erotic it is to watch her in thongs
Having me thinking about that ass after I'm gone
I touch the right spot at the right time
Lights on or lights off, she like it from behind
So seductive, you should see the way she wind
Her hips in slow mo on the floor when we grind
As long as she ain't stopping homie, I ain't stopping
Dripping wet wit sweat man it's on and popping
On my champagne campaign, bottle after bottle it's on
Now we goin' sip to every bubble now every bottle is gone”

Like A Virgin
by Madonna

I witnessed a hilarious Singstar battle several years ago between my sister and Dad. They’d thrown down to Eminem, and busted out their best moves for the Spice Girls (yes, my Dad is awesome) when someone had the bright idea to put on Madonna’s “Like a Virgin”. Sure. Classic stuff. It’ll be great. They made it the chorus when an awkward silence came over the room and they decided to halt the mission. There are just some songs you shouldn’t sing with your Dad.

“Like a virgin
Touched for the very first time
Like a virgin
When your heart beats
Next to mine”

Heart Shaped Box
by Nirvana 


After Lana Del Ray’s recent cover of Nirvana’s “Heart Shaped Box,” Courtney Love tweeted that the song was in fact about her vagina. Yep. And sure, maybe 19 years ago it was a heart shaped box. But now it’s more like haggard old witch box.

@LanaDelReyyou do know the song is about my Vagina right? throw down your umbilical noose so i can climb right back umm
— Courtney Love Cobain (@Courtney) July 30, 2012
@LanaDelReyon top of which some of the lyrics about my vagina i contributed
— Courtney Love Cobain (@Courtney) July 30, 2012
@LanaDelReyso umm next time you sing it,think about myvagina will you? lolxc
— Courtney Love Cobain (@Courtney) July 30, 2012

Unfortunately now you too will think about Courtney Love’s vagina when you hear that song. I can’t think of a better way to sign off. Sweet dreams.

1 comment:

  1. I can't wait to have 'Candy shop' as my wedding dance song, sung with a band as the slow version... Just to watch people's faces as they start to slowly realise the totally inappropriate lyrics... Priceless!


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