Wednesday, 21 November 2012

The K-Tizzle $izzle - Ke$ha and K-Tizzle

Ke$ha and K-Tizzle
Separated at birth?
by Katie Langley

When Ke$ha first burst onto the scene advising us all that she brushed her teeth with Jack Daniel’s dentists all over the world “tut-tutted”. Me? I resisted the urge to jump on a plane and push her down a flight of stairs. “Who is Ke$ha?” I pondered, and “has she showered in the last 4 weeks?”

Fast forward several years and it is only love (may be a slight over-reaction) I feel for Kesha Rose Sebert aka Ke$ha. Shocked? Look, I was too, until I realised why she warms the cockles of my heart… We are sisters from another mister! Actually, that’s a lie, we’re not sisters at all. But we do share a lot of similarities. Allow me to explain why “Keh dollar sign ha” is not so bad.

1. We have nicknames that make people cringe.

Ke$ha. The dollar sign… Annoying! What’s wrong with the letter “s”? Is it not sexy enough? Is the dollar sign sexy? What happens when she travels internationally?

K-Tizzle. Why does a white girl have a rap name? Is she really the blackest white woman in Brisbane? Why does she talk about herself in third person all of the time? Annoying!

2. We have an unusual love of beards.

My love of facial hair has been well publicised. But did you know that Ke$ha also shares a fondness for beards? Ke$ha loves beards so much that she has started her own blog called “Put Your Beard In My Mouth” ( . Gross to many, appreciated by yours truly. 

Ke$ha gate crashed a recent Gay Paris gig in Sydney and had a nice nibble of the ever-so-daper Blacktooth’s beard. But really, who can blame her?

3. We have hair that cannot be tamed.

As a little izzle my parents would read “Katie’s Curls” to me most days. It was the story of a girl whose hair would never lay straight, and would never lay flat. Katie tried all sorts of tricks to get that pesky hair under control, but nothing worked. By the end Katie learned to love her wild flowing locks.

This story is not too dissimilar from my own hair story. It’s curly. It’s unruly. And often it will not be tamed. As a side note, it’s also been known to attract men of the African variety.

I think we’d all agree that, some days, Ke$ha’s hair could do with a brush and some gel. But as a fellow curly girl, I can relate and empathise with the trials and tribulations of kinky hair.

4. Neither of us can rap.

If you’ve listened to Ke$ha’s music, and been lucky enough to get a ride in my car, then you know this to be true. And if you’ve been in my car while we’ve listened to Ke$ha, then boy, you really hit the jackpot.

Me and my bud KeSha, we only rap caucasionally. Hell, someone even brought be a shirt that says so.

5. We dance to the beat of our own drum.

This is just a polite way of saying that we’re bat shit crazy. Wait. This might be a slight overreaction. We might be better described as kooky, zany. Or even fun. Yes, fun. Fun people convince their team of 13 to flash-mob a colleague in the workplace.

Have you ever seen a Ke$ha video clip? “Blow” features James Van Der Beek (James Van Der Douche), a make-out scene with a unicorn and rainbows. Fun!

In the world of cookie cutter perfection, a la Katy Perry, it’s refreshing to have a pop-tart who’s comfortable in their own skin. Shit. Who am I kidding? I’m just happy there’s another weirdo out there who’s as obsessed with beards as me.

P.S. Unlike Ke$ha, I shower every day.

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