SPLENDOUR IN THE GRASS
Reviewed through the wonders of text messaging...
Byron Bay's best and brightest (and wettest and muddiest) music festival is all but a lingering memory in the minds of the people so you know what that means? It's time for our second annual Splendour In The Grass text review! Jo was on location, battling the cold and hipsters to make her way to the front of crowds to listen to some amazing and not so amazing music. Re-live the highs and the lows through the greatest form of communication there is; the text message. Short and sweet, honest and brutal; Jo recaps what many have called the festival of the year. We unecessarily talk about The Veronicas too. Whatcha gon do 'bout it c***ts. Sorry... there's some residual Azealia Banks lingo hanging around.
Get Your Text On
July 26, 2012: 9:59pm
Jo: Halfway to Byron and I've run into my first festival casualty. Hipster searching for panadiene in the service station to get him through the weekend. Then the service station guy questioned who I wanted to see at Splendour. "Jack White and others," I said. "Not the Smashing Pumpkins?" he replied. Uuuurgh. This is going to be a long weekend. Already.
Matt: Take some panadiene. It'll all be alright.
|Emma Louise's voice took the pain of the wet weather away...|
July 27, 2012: 3:57pm
Jo: So the Splendour 2012 text review begins! Day one - Kingswood: 12:30 Fri. Just a couple more rehearsals in your garage and you'll make the 1pm time slot next year. That's something to aim for. Chet Faker: Oh. Without actually looking at the stage, I thought you were just the music they play in between bands. Oops. Flume: it's too early for this.
Sun + rain + hail + sun = mud. Thank goodness for the gumboot, the 4WD of festival going.
July 27, 2012: 6:21pm
Jo: ...well, there's no grass, that's for sure. DZ Deathrays: watching you saved me from being caught in the first downpour of the weekend, so for that reason you were alright. Emma Louise: I ran through the stench and slush of mud for you. The festival isn't the right venue for you, but the run was still worth it. Big Scary: neither big nor scary. How disappointing.
Matt: Did Emma Louise do 1000 Sundowns? Are the toilets beyond filthy yet? What colour is your poncho? Do you have a poncho? Does everyone look like drowned rats? There's just too many questions.