Wednesday, 6 February 2013

It's All Coming Back To Me Now - Super What?

 Super Bowl. It's all about the football, apparently. .

Super Bowl. Super What? Super Half Time! 
by Jo Michelmore

Something happened recently which was a pretty big deal to some people, a lot of those people in America. Whenever I say America I burst into that song from West Side Story; "I want to live in Am-er-eeeeeeee-caaaahhhhh" (my editor can vouch for that, unless he beats me to the song first) but that's a whole other story about my long lost dreams of a career in musical theatre. I never really had those dreams. Rock dreams are where it's at, but anyway, I digress....

So this thing, it was a sporting event that stops a nation and probably parts of others. They call it the Super Bowl. This I don't understand, as I don't really know what's so super about it and I don't believe bowling is involved. However, from my home far away from Beyonce, here in Australia, there's even something for me at the Super Bowl and it involves the half time entertainment. The half time entertainment has everything I love; pyrotechnics, a chance of total embarrassment on a very big stage, choreography at it's best (and sometimes worst), a little lip synching, a lot of hype and a whole lot of theatre. There's been so many styles of entertainment over the years, let's look at just a couple...

The Legends Of The Music Industry Performance
Michael Jackson (1993)


Love him, hate him, whatever. Jam, Billie Jean, Black Or White, We Are The World and the obligatory preach-ey Heal The World. The intro is awesome, it's Michael Jackson at a highpoint in his career and it's a pleasure to watch. My favourite bit? Go to about 5:00. Audience participation. Cards in the air! This only ever happens at these huge events! I love cards in the air! Waiting for someone, just one person to screw it up and hold the black instead of the white or something of the like. Next bucket list item: acheive audience card participation. Yes!

The Variety Pack Performance
Shania Twain, No Doubt, Sting (2003)


I can see it now, the producers of the Super Bowl, all sitting around a table.

"Country music, we need country music"

"Something the kids will love, we need to get the kids watching"

"A hot chick. That'll keep 'em watching"

"I've always liked Sting"

"Man I feel like a woman...."

No one could decide which market they were aiming for that year so they just had a mash of genres and hoped someone watched. Those that did were lucky enough to see Shania attempt to claim her femininity in an awful leather/sequin combination followed by No Doubt actually making a statement about femininity with a pant/sequin combination and then Sting flaunting his femininity with his t-shirt/wide-leg-high-waist-pant combination. This is all a bit weird but it does feature Gwen Stefani, so that makes it ok.

The Just A Bunch Of Fun, We're Cashing In Performance
The Rolling Stones (2006)


See, this is good. Just a bunch of old guys who knew how to rock, still have a go at it and still look like they're having fun. My favourite bit? Beside the fact they are performing on a giant lips stage, at 1:11 things start looking shakey in the tongue area and an audience underneath a giant sheet are revealed. Imagine how much fun that would have been under there! Imagine how hot that would have been under there! Imagine how much that would have smelt under there! Ok, stop imagining. Just enjoy Keith Richards, one of my favourite rock stars ever, pickled perfectly.

The Controversial Performance
Janet Jackson, P Diddy, Nelly, Kid Rock and Justin Timberlake (2004)


You know, this one caused such a stir. So much controversy. It was just a nipple. Not even. A nipple shield. When Nelly sang "take off all your clothes", he didn't mean on stage, Janet. More controversial? Who was responsible for letting Kid Rock on the stage? In fact, who's responsible for Kid Rock in general? Who let him wear that hat? Who let him out of the trailer park? Where did he park his pickup truck when he played this gig? Why Kid Rock, why? So many questions, so few answers, so much controversy. 

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