Wednesday, 6 March 2013

The K-Tizzle Sizzle - Beanie Boy And Songs To Forget

 Try to hold back the chunks of vomit....

Songs That Remind You Of People You'd Rather Forget
(Except For You Beanie Boy, You're Alright)
by Katie Langley

Try to hold back the chunks of vomit while I share this story. It's a love story. About a curly haired girl (that's me, yo!) and a boy with a Marilyn Manson beanie. They slow danced to the "Beautiful People" at the school dance, and he bought her a Spice Girls ring to show her he cared. Awwww! They were young, but it was love, alright? And no one could tell them otherwise.

At the time Lighthouse Family's "High" was topping the charts. It was a catchy little number, and with lyrics like "Cause we are gonna be forever, you and me, you will always keep me flying high in the sky if love" it's no surprise that it became their song. It would play on the radio and they would smile thinking about how they were going to be together forever, just like the song said! Are you vomiting yet? Unfortunately for the curly haired girl and Marilyn Manson beanie wearing boy their love did not fly high in the sky for long. The sky turned black and now the curly haired girls just gags a bit every time she hears the song.

Thankfully with subsequent boyfriends I had the common sense not to declare that any song was "ours". But music has a funny way  of connecting to all those moments and people in your life, good and bad.

I was going to call this weeks Sizzle "songs that remind you of people you'd rather forget" but that's not entirely true. Beanie boy and I still keep in touch 15 years later, and he's lovely, despite the questionable fashion choice. So, maybe "songs that make you cringe" is a better title. Or "songs that remind you of people you'd rather forget, except for you beanie boy, you're alright".

Have I ever told you about the time I entered an ex- boyfriend into a Jesus lookalike competition? He went for the rock n roll Jesus look - loincloth AND Doc Marten's. Quite the combination. Unfortunately (for him) the only thing that survived our relationship was the humiliating photographic evidence. Oh yeah, where was I going with this? Lamb of God... He liked them.

No doubt we've all had the unpleasant experience of working for vile, emotionally void assholes. Although I can almost guarantee that my ex-employer takes the crown. He had the irritating habit of walking around the office whistling "Click Go The Shears". Why? Who knows! Maybe it was some kind of power play thing, he was the shearer, we were the sheep... Maybe he was from New Zealand? We did all get "screwed" in the end.

You might remember "Thor" from the Valentine's Day tale. The quick recap  is that one Valentine's Day he gave me stale Subway cookies as a gift. And the next year I cruelly broke up with him. On Valentine's Day. Yes. it really happened. Incubus were all the rage at the time. Every time I hear them I think about those stale Subway cookies.

My sister and her first beau decided this was their song after awkwardly jigging along to it at a school dance. He looked into her eyes, crumped, and mimed the lyrics "I see you looking at me, I can tell by your eyes that you're feeling me"**. Cringe.

My advice? Next time you fall in love, turn off the radio. Odds are, that song that makes you swoon will one day make you spew.

**Events may be slightly exaggerated.

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