Wednesday, 13 March 2013

The K-Tizzle Sizzle - Songs To Listen To While You Glisten

Visting KFC every time you leave the gym does not cause lack of fashion sense. 

Songs To Keep You Puffin' While You Burn Off That Muffin
 by Katie Langley

The definition of cruelty is positioning a gym within walking distance of both KFC and Red Rooster. This is my reality. The delicious smells of chicken waft around me as I run on the treadmill and I end up looking like a greyhound at the races chomping at the bit to bite that rabbit. Although, my 'rabbit' is a greasy burger with a side of chips and I’m less of a greyhound, more of a labrador.

To ensure that I’m kept well away from any chicken drumsticks it’s essential that I have music to keep me focused. Music that makes me work a bit harder.

“Sexy Bitch” 
by David Guetta (featuring Akon)


I think it's important to receive positive affirmations while you bust-a-gut. Yes, I've got boob sweat and back sweat, and you-don't-want-to-know sweat, but damn, I'm a sexy bitch. Or at least I hope to be after the workout.

“Warp 1.9” 
by The Bloody Beetroots (featuring Steve Aoki) 


The "whoop whoop"-ing in this song turns me into a woman possessed. I get the urge to look around at my sweaty peers and fist pump. What actually happens is that I nod my head like I’m trying to clear water from my ear.

“Skinny Little Bitch” 
by Angelspit


This is perfect for those days when I look around gym and see girls in a full face of make-up. You know the ones with their perfect hair, outfits and bodies. I hate you all. Jealous? Not at all... Cough.

“Die (And Die Now)” 
by Devildriver


Exercise is an excellent form of stress relief. Thinking angry thoughts and listening to this song whilst working out is guaranteed to burn optimum calories. Either that or make you even angrier. If
this happens, errr, maybe you should just go and get some delicious chicken and try again tomorrow.

“Number 1 in Deutschland”  
by Hanzel und Gretyl


There's something you should know about me - I love Germany. Ja! Das ist meine hamburger. I like to listen to this song and think about how one day I'll be number one in Germany. I’m not quite sure what it is that I’ll excel at, but schei├če, I’ll be good.

Look, if I’m really honest, these songs work for about the first 20 minutes of my workout and then I sweat so much I can no longer wear earphones. Over share?

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