Saturday, 11 May 2013

The Candy Shop #2

Don't feed Nayt after midnight.

The Candy Shop #2:
A Trip To The Cinema Candy Bar
by Nayt Housman

Get your bags of Jaffa’s and Jelly snakes ready, because IT’S MOVIE TIME!

What do you get if you combine 4 cups of “cheesy humor”, with two cups of “pop culture reference”, add three tablespoons “film/music/theatre” icons, and mix well? You have one of the BEST MUSICAL NUMBERS EVER! Imagine a Halloween party hosted by Frank Sinatra, with special guest appearances by Veronica Lake and The Phantom of the Opera, then, replace these icons with Gremlins; a recipe of pure genius.

Here in The Candy Shop we adore a bite of cult pop culture. Which got me thinking; seeing as the Gremlins were able to turn out this masterful tribute to past heavy weights, are some of our contemporary pop culture big guns able to shape up against them?

Brainy Gremlin vs. Michael Bublé



Frank Sinatra may be dead but his droning, crooning legacy lives on with Michael Bubble (this is not a typo). Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind Bubble, he’s charming, has a good sense of humor and a great voice. But, is he better than Brainy Gremlin?

Sure Bubble seems unrehearsed and it’s not really an official performance in this clip but the Gremlins had hardly been hatched 48hrs and they manage to put on a spread good enough for Queen Liz (that’s drag Queen Liz). I think this is a win for Brainy Gremlin.

Sexy Gremlin vs. Lil Kim


... ... ... ...

I love looking at and reading stories about celebrities, no matter how fabricated they are (especially celebs with a ‘lil’ nip-n-tuck) almost as much as I love Gremlins, so how delighted I was, when the two came together so flawlessly. She’s no Veronica Lake but Lil Kim has perfectly captured the essence of Sexy Gremlin here, so who’s more badass? Lil Kim or Sexy Gremlin?

Lil Kim certainly puts in a convincing performance, but what takes her several minutes and a lot of gyrating to do, Sexy Gremlin takes about 5 seconds and a few “oohs” and “aaahs” to convincingly seduce us with her sexy badassness. Win for Sexy Gremlin!

Phantom of the Opera Gremlin vs. 
Phantom of the Opera Gerard Butler


That guy from 300

Sure the real Phantom of the Opera has Gerard Butler being all suave and mysterious and Emmy Rossum with her exaggeratedly sweet damsel persona but I really feel they’re missing that certain something the Gremlins manage to embody. I think we all know who’s going to win this… (Do I actually need reasoning after the first two?)

GREMLINS! In just over two and a half minutes, the musical prowess of those filthy, noisy green little monsters transcend puppetry to be crowned my champions of CULT POP CULTURE!

Do you think there is anyone who does it better?

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