Wednesday, 29 May 2013

The K-Tizzle Sizzle - Braids and Butts

How it's done in the village...

Braids and Butts
by Katie Langley

Those that know me have seen my curly locks. What you may not know is that every time I wear my hair wild and free I get a lot of questions and comments. “Is that your real hair?” “Are you going to a wedding?” “You remind me of a woman from my village”. Yes, I’ve heard all of these things. The latter even followed with a proposal to braid my hair and engage in anal sex. Really! Just to be clear, I did politely decline, although I think I’d look rather fetching with braids…

There’s a lot to be said for hair. It can provide valuable insight and should be thought of as an accessory. As a train traveller and novice stalker I quite enjoy observing the whacky things people do with their hair. Just last week I sat behind a woman who looked like she had an orange fluffy animal crawl onto her head and die.

Let’s take a look at some of the musicians who’ve centred their style and careers around their hair.

Eyþór Ingi Gunnlaugsson

This name might not ring any bells, but he recently represented Iceland at Eurovision. All I can say is that I’d be happy if this Nordic God rang my bell, if you catch my drift. This might be inappropriate (when has that ever stopped me) but I’d like to take a nice long bubble bath with that blonde tousling mane.

Justin Bieber

When Justin burst onto the scene his side swept hair had the girls swooning. Boys across the globe brushed their hair forward looking like mops. Over the years Justin’s hair has evolved, with each cut getting a mention in the gossip mags. In fact, just over a month ago Justin stepped out with a new ‘do’ copping criticism for looking like Rihanna and Miley Cyrus. Hey, it’s a step up from a sloth!

Bret Michaels

I’m suspicious of anyone who wears a bandana. Poison’s front man Bret Michaels is never seen without his trusty headwear. Does he sleep in it? Does he swim with it on? How many does he own? Does he prefer a particular colour? Is his hair attached to the bandana? The mind boggles.


In Willow’s 2010 hit single “Whip My Hair” she encouraged us to, yep you guessed it, whip our hair. Back and forth to be precise. Apparently the song has undertones of self-love and assurance but I wouldn’t know because I spend the 3 minutes 14 seconds flicking my hair around like I’ve got a severe dandruff problem that Head and Shoulders just can’t resolve.

Guy Sebastian

During his 2003 stint on Australian Idol, Guy became known as “The ‘Fro”. Fans fell in love with those big bouncing curls and donned wigs to his shows. People (or maybe it was just me) often questioned if the drapes matched the carpet. Google couldn’t answer definitively.

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