Wednesday, 12 June 2013

The K-Tizzle Sizzle - Dear Avril

Dear Avril
by Katie Langley

Dear Avril,

I tried to like you. I tried to relate to you. I tried to understand your music. I tried to understand your taste in men. After all, we're the same age. But why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?

As an oddball and unconventional 17 year old girl I thought your heavy eye make-up, ties and choice of transportation (sakteboarding) was cool. As a 27 year old woman, I'm wondering why you don't seem to have evolved one iota.

I note the irony to your current single "Here's to Never Growing Up". Ha. Good one. But all it does is highlight the lack of risk taking and development to your career. We get it - you don't think you fit in and you don't want to be told what to do. What else? You covered these points quite well on albums "Let Go", "Under My Skin", "The Best Damn Thing" and "Goodbye Lullaby".

When I  watch the clip for "Here's to Never Growing Up" I'm transported back to 2002. Maybe I'm just jealous. In the same month that I've found my first grey hairs, here you are hanging ten in that same fucking tie. But seriously Avril, are you using Proactiv?

You've been a little unlucky in love, but I'm happy that you've finally found your sk8ter boi, Chad Kroeger. Is it true that when the Nickelback front man proposed he said, "I love you and I like your pants around your feet?"

Avril, in "My Happy Ending" you asked if it was something you did or something you said. Yes, it was.

It's not me, it's definitely you.

From Katie. 

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