Saturday, 6 July 2013

The Candy Shop #10

by Nayt Housman

The music industry is guilty, guilty of some heinous crimes against humanity. Perhaps no musician is guiltier than Robert Palmer for such crimes…Robert Palmer you are hereby found guilty of assaulting our ears and eyes with your bad suits, cheesy lyrics and mute entourage of women (I really do love their outfits and makeup though; shhhhh).

Evidence example #1 -  Addicted To Love


I can almost forgive this seeing as it was 1986 and cheese was all the rage but at the halfway point I’m already dry.

Evidence example #2 - Simply Irresistible


It was 1989, his career stalled so he decided to release a song almost the same as Addicted To Love. Why Robert? WHY? You couldn’t even come up with a new concept for the video? Shame on you.

Evidence example #3 - Shania Twain


The worst part is you provoked retaliation from Shania Twain who clearly has equally bad taste, cheesy lyrics and her version of the mute entourage (what’s with the goggles?)

We can all rest peacefully knowing that old Robert Palmer can no longer subject us to his terrible music (R.I.P. old Bob) and Shania Twain is now a recluse somewhere (probably birthing lil country bumpkin babies). The only time you ever have to listen to these abominations of pop is when music blogs rehash them in order to ridicule them. No T no shade!

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