Saturday, 20 July 2013

The Candy Shop #12




Lessons In Love
by Nayt Housman


Chocolates are a versatile treat, given at the beginning of relationships, in the middle of relationships and at the end of relationships, to mark all sorts of occasions. Anniversaries, commercial public holidays, to say “I’m sorry” or “I love you” or even “I killed your dog”. Let's look at some relationship scenarios where chocolates might be appropriate.


The Beginning

You’re The One That I Want
Olivia Newton John and John Travolta


 


“You look good enough to eat! I wonder if you taste like cherry liquors or strawberry crème?”
Oh those giddy feelings of new love. Everything feels bubbly and joyous and all we want to do is impress each other with fancy hip gyrating. 


The Middle

 This Mess We’re In
PJ Harvey and Thom Yorke




“Babe I got you some chocolates! Plus we need to talk. I think we need a break… I slept with your dad… oh and the dog got hit by a car. But I don’t want this to mean we’re over!”


Plied with chocolates he hardly noticed the topic of the conversation. The way in and out of a man’s heart is through his stomach.


The End 

Where The Wild Roses Grow
Nick Cave and Kylie Minogue




“I’m sorry I murdered you.”

Sure most relationships don’t end in bloody murder but the murderer in this story was surely remorseful and I bet he took a box of Roses chocolates and bunch of red roses to the murder site every year in memory of the love they shared. Parting is such sweet sorrow…or something.


An important tool in relationship manipulation is chocolate. Don’t underestimate their power of seduction and next time you find yourself in a sticky relationship situation remember;


“Snickers really satisfies”.


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