Saturday, 21 September 2013

The Candy Shop #21

Electric Ladies and Sexy Robot Strippers
by Nayt Housman

So what did you do this week? Anything fun? Oh! You worked and when you weren’t working you ate burgers! How lovely. What did I do you ask? HA! Nothing much, just makeup on around 20 or so people for a new secret Michelle Xen video and then gyrated and writhed against the thick humid electro fueled atmosphere in the video as one of the extras… Nothing much at all.

In honour, this week's Candy Shop will be a melting pot of electro girl power as I share my love (again) of all things glittery, chic, electrically charged and popilicious! These are the songs that stayed on repeat for weeks at a time and women who have shaped my musical world.

The Eurythmics - Sweet Dreams

My electro love was spawned as a child in pure adoration of the Eurythmics dance classic Sweet Dreams. I grew up with it’s gritty synth and tense lyrics sprouted from Annie’s mouth running through my developing brain. It’s hard to ignore such a classic no matter what genre you are most loyal too.

Spiller - Groovejet

Gosh, when this song came out I went on an Internet spree trying to find who the amazingly sensual, charismatic, sleek and sexy singer was. Of course we all know now it’s the beautiful and very English lady Sophie Ellis Bextor. But what the hell was with that ugly goatee adorning that man’s chin? NO! Facial hair is meant to be sexy, not cause to run for the rodent traps.

Goldfrapp - Train

Is there anything Goldfrapp can’t do? With a new album just out (check out my review in the upcoming New Music Monday) Alison and Gregory just keep pushing into new territory and conquering it as though it’s all they’ve ever done but who can forget their foray into the electro world? I always imagine I’m a stripper robot when I hear this song. Barrrp barrrrp beee BARRRP!

Everything But The Girl - Five Fathoms

EBTG were one of the first real electro loves in my cache and the love has never diminished. Tracey Thorne’s soft English voice melts into me and transports me into her story.

Kylie Minogue - Say Hey

I ACHE for this song. Kylie transformed from the girl next door (locomotion), to the girl next door who got laid (Put Yourself In My Place), then to this, woman in control, commander and Goddess.

Dannii Minogue - Put The Needle On It

Dannii had her moments too and it’s very hard to forget 'Put The Needle On It'. I may or may not have thought I was a stripper when dancing to this too, but less stripper robot and more “seedy gay club stripper” and I would dance kinda like that dancing baby from Ally McBeal but obviously sexier…

Kosheen - Catch

Am I not the coolest person ever for loving this song? No? Oh, well I used to think liking this song automatically made me cool but once that wore off I actually genuinely LOVE this song. Plus I’m still cool durr. Is it cool to say I’m cool? Do kids actually say “cool” anymore?

Ladytron - 17

Somehow there seems to be a sexy robot theme developing here. Where there are sexy robots, you will of course find Ladytron, potentially singing a very repetitively fashionable, anti-fashion song about pubescent models. It’s one of those addictive songs that only has a couple of lines but as soon as they pass through your mind they’re stuck and your bum is wiggling.

Lalleshwari - Dark Angel

Here’s the wildcard of the night, an obscure English artist named Katie Jane Garside, who may be better known as the singer of Daisy Chainsaw, Queen Adreena or Ruby Throat. In the mid 00s Katie released an album as Lalleshwari called Lullabies In A Glass Wilderness. Which is equally alien as it is alluring and sensual.

Roisin Murphy - Ramalama (Bang Bang)

No electro pop list would be complete without Roisin (Ro-sheen). Let’s just leave it at that and if you aren’t familiar with this woman by now then spend some time familiarizing yourself. QUEEN ROISIN!

Michelle Xen - Cleopatra

Finally it’s my new Queen of electro pop that I have had the pleasure of sharing part of the creative process with, Michelle Xen. I could hardly believe Michelle was a Brisbane based performer when I first heard her but BELIEVE IT! This woman is a powerhouse, a live wire, a lightning strike! Someone help fill in some electric analogies here!

ZAP ZAP! POW POW! While Electro and Pop remain in sexy union I’ll be a happy boy dancing like a sexy robot stripper. One day I’ll have a video of me dancing like the dancing baby as said sexy robot stripper and it will go viral and I’ll perform my dance all over the world. Sweet dreams are made of this.

PS. Keep an eye out for news on Michelle Xen’s top-secret video. It will be worth the wait to see me making love to the music. Hopefully we’ll see something soon.

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