Thursday, 19 September 2013

Where Is My Mind? - California Dreams

I googled California Dreams and this appeared. Yep, I need to go to Cali...

Dreaming Of Cali..
by Jo Michelmore

There's been something I've been dreaming about. While some of my friends have been having unusual dreams lately, involving the end of the world, high rise living and the man of her dreams (hi Katie), my dreams don't involve the apocalypse, living in an apartment or Johnny Depp. My dreams are a little more simple than that. They involve a holiday.

I know, didn't I just finish a holiday? Yes, an amazing European holiday, but that was three months ago now, c'mon! That's a lifetime ago. The post travel depression has started to ease, but now the itchy feet have begun! I wanna go somewhere else! There's so many places in the world I've never been! There's so many things I need to see! Iceland! Croatia! Siberia! Thailand! Vancouver! Egypt! Mauritius! South America! Chicago! Slicklizzard! (It's a place. It's in Alabama. Don't tell me you don't want to go there.) Idyllwild! So many places I need to see...

So where is my mind this week? Another place I've never been but desperately want to go. Last time we left on Janes Addiction, one of my favourite bands from California, so where does that take me? To that place I've never been, but must visit someday...

California Gurls 
by Katy Perry

I don't know about Katy Perry. I'm happy to sing along at karaoke or in the car, but I've never been completely convinced. She's just full of mistakes. The song about last Friday, this Friday, next Friday, who can tell, the song about kissing a girl with the lyric about cherry chapstik and well, we all know there's nothing sexy about the word chapstik, the sing about peacock cock cock cocks that's just a bit weird and clearly not referring to beautiful birds and then she's got this, which, if she hadn't had all those other annoying songs, I would be fine with, but this is just the cherry on top of the annoying Katy Perry cupcake. California Gurls. It's my duty to now direct you to the educational urban dictionary, which states this;

'Gurl': "A way of spelling 'girl' practiced by people who will become victims of natural selection sometime in the future."

California Girls
by Beach Boys

I've never been the biggest fan of this song, but I must give credit where credit is due and I'm not sure I would have thought of this had it not been for Katy Perry, but congratulations and thank you to Brian Wilson and friends for spelling girls as girls and not gurls. This may be nerdy, I don't care. Girls has an 'i' not a 'u'. Take that Perry.

California Love
by 2Pac

It's by 2Pac, but it's credited as 2Pac featuring Dr Dre and Roger Troutman. Poor Roger. Why didn't he get a cool name? No wonder no one's heard of him. Roger Troutman just doesn't have the same ring, does it? Every rapper should have a cool name. Roger Troutman, just not so cool. Why didn't he just put his name in the rap name generator and come up with something better? I've got mine prepared for when my hip hop single finally drops. One day you'll be chanting it at me "Jo M Sharp a.k.a. Brotha Beats". Actually, that's my boy rap name. I'll need to change that to a sista, won't I? Either way, you're going to know it once that single is released...

Hotel California
by Eagles

Let's just get this out of the way now, because everyone knows I like to admit my secrets on this here blog. The Eagles, they bore me. For me, they are probably one of the most boring bands in the world. Ever. Seriously. Who likes these guys? People with insomnia? This won a Grammy Award, which is a good indication of what I think of the Grammys. I know there's a whole story going on here with this song, but I get a minute or so in and can't be bothered anymore...then there's something about checking out any time you like but never leaving and I think "god, will this song ever end, maybe I'm stuck in the hotel California" and it goes on a bit more with one of the most boring guitar solos ever and my point is proven again. Eagles = boring. Please, I hope California is not this boring when I finally get there. I suspect it won't be.

Goin Back To Cali
by Notorious B.I.G.

Let's end on rap, because it's much more interesting than boring 70s middle of the road rock and you need to know something. This song was co-written by our old friend Roger Troutman. Seems he didn't have the rap name but he must have done alright for himself, I guess. More about me and my rap name now.  If I don't go with 'Jo M Sharp a.k.a. Brotha (Sista) Beats' then I'm going with Mad Jo M Cherry. Or Missy J Jo Gravy. Or JM Face. Or Jo J Tang. Or Dizzy Sweet J Jo Squeeze...oh get me off the rap name generator. I could be here for hours...

Where will my mind take you next week? Who can say, I could still be here, creating thousands silly of rap names, or I could be in California...

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