Wednesday, 9 October 2013

The K-Tizzle Sizzle - Dear Diary...

... she's just being Miley
by Katie Langley

I wasn’t quite sure who to turn to after all of the “excitement” on social media last week. In case you missed it, Diary, Sinead wrote an open letter to Miley. Miley responded. Sinead wrote back, twice more. And somewhere in the middle Amanda Palmer wrote an open letter to Sinead about Miley. It all got a bit messy. I loved it.

People have been quick to pick sides, Diary. But I’m not team anyone (I’m most certainly not “Team Edward” or “Team Jacob”). They’re all a bit bonkers really, Dizzee Rascal style.

I won’t pretend to like or understand Miley’s new image (particularly the whole tongue hanging out bit) but I thought that Sinead’s letter to her was condescending. If Miley wants to twerk on some old dude (yes, that’s you Robin Thicke), surely that’s her choice to make? From personal experience I know that telling me not to do something is like a red rag to a bull….

“Katie, make sure you close your eyes and go straight to sleep otherwise Santa won’t come”.

“Katie, stop crying, pick up your bike and let’s go inside. You don’t need to learn to ride a bike in one day”.

“Katie, don’t eat anything now, you’ll ruin your appetite for dinner”.

“Katie, you’re not allowed to dye your hair for school”.

“Katie, you shouldn’t drink alcohol on an empty stomach”.

All I’m saying, Diary, is that we shouldn’t be surprised if Miley starts licking everything. And when it happens (you know it will) I will blame one person – Sinead. I just hope Miley’s body can keep up with the saliva production. Maybe I should send her some drops. Maybe she needs tutoring from Gene Simmons. 

Diary, I’m just so happy that people have started writing letters to each other again. I thought I was the only one! Kanye West also recently received an open letter from the Association of French Bakers for the way he described croissants in his song ‘I am God’. I’d really like to smack him with a croissant.

Maybe pen pals will finally be cool again.

Lots of love,


P.S. Dear Santa, I’d really like to see Flynt Flossy in concert. Can you make it happen? I promise I’ll close my eyes and go straight to sleep this year…

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