Wednesday, 16 October 2013

The K-Tizzle Sizzle - Open up my mouth...

... And you see mo carrots than a salad
by Katie Langley

Earlier in the week I took a trip to the dentist. For a lot of people the mere mention of the word “dentist” breaks a sweat on their brow. Me? I didn’t give it a second thought. In fact, I was quite cocky about it. You see, over the years I have found the dentist to be a pain free experience.

As kids my sister would come away from our dental visits with a new filling or two, but I was always given a slap on the back and told how great my teeth were. Suffice to say my ego has grown to mass proportions. That was until earlier in the week when I was told I will need not one but two fillings. I started texting everyone, panicking. Suddenly this whole dental fear thing makes sense to me. I’ve had my day or two to wallow; now I’m feeling defiant.

So, as my way of saying eff you to the dentist, tonight’s blog post is dedicated to songs about lollies (or candy as some folk like to call it). Although, as it turns out, none of them are actually about sweets at all…

'Candy' - Mandy More

This vom worthy track is about is about a love sick fool missing her man, like a fat kid misses cake.  Or in this case, like candy. Although, the lyric “body's in withdrawal every time you take it away (ohhh)” does make me wonder what type of candy Mandy is referring to.

'I Want Candy' - Aaron Carter

Another love sick fool, another song about candy. In this delightful little diddy Aaron announces “I like candy when it's wrapped in a sweater”. Really? I much prefer it unwrapped and laid out for easy access. Take that as you will.

'My Boy Lollipop' - Millie Small

Some have speculated that this song title is a subtle reference to oral sex. Millie, you cheeky thing!

'Candyman' - Christina Aguilera

It’s safe to say that Jenny Eliscu for Rolling Stone is not a fan of this song. She referred to the lyrics for ‘Candyman’ as “nasty”. Apparently the line “he's a one-stop shop, makes the panties drop" had her raising an eyebrow. I also feel uncomfortable about the word “panties”. Cringe!

‘Candy Shop’ – 50 Cent

It doesn’t take long to realise that 50 Cent’s reference to “lollipop” in this song is a metaphor for his penis. Or as someone else eloquently put it “he just wants bitches to suck his…” Yeah, you get the point.

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