Thursday, 3 October 2013

Where Is My Mind? - Haim, Not Ham


This is what happens when you think you type Haim into google, but miss a letter. Shania does not like this.


Sexy. Everything About Meat Is So Sexy
by Jo Michelmore


So, I was hanging out with some friends on the weekend when one of them said "Have you heard that song on the radio that sounds exactly like Shania Twain?" to which I questioned; "No! Who is it?" My friends couldn't give me an answer, because every time it came on both of them got bored with the song before it was done and didn't stick around long enough to hear who it was, which is kind of funny, because only a day or two later, I saw some interesting things on the twitters and the internets, because Geoff Barrow (he's a guy from Portishead) had tweeted something along the lines of;

'Haim sound like Shania Twain and when did that become a good thing?'

which is kind of funny, because maybe everyone was picking up on the same thing at the same time. If Geoff Barrow was trying to insult Haim, then I can't totally agree, because I kinda like a little bit of what they're doing, whether they sounds like Shania or not. Interestingly, last week I left off on Haim, so of course I went back and listened to that song again..




Which did sound remarkably like Shania, in parts




but what all this did was make me go to the ever glorious wiki and look up Shania Twain, which made me find out this:

'Twain is a long-time vegetarian and in 2001, was voted PETA's very first Sexiest Vegetarian'

which is kind of funny because this week there was World Vegetarian Day (I don't actually know what happens that day, but whatever it is probably involves vegetables and lots of them) and that made me think, why would you want to be named 'sexiest vegetarian'? I mean, it's not saying much, if we just look at fellow musicians, look who her competition is...




Let's start in the past with Barry White, he was still out and about eating vegeatbles when Shania won her award...some people think he had some kind of sexy voice and yeah, those deep notes could be, but seriously, someone look at this man's coat. Someone look at this man's hair. Someone look at this man's lapels. There ain't nothing sexy about any of that and not eating meat does not increase the sexiness. Although, skipping a meal or two might have helped.




There's this funny thing that happens sometimes and it's been demonstrated perfectly here by Billie Joe Armstrong of Green Day. Sometimes, people who think they're cool wear geeky clothes, because they think it's a bit of an oxymoron, like 'cool geek', but then they just look like a geek and prove the point that in fact they are said geek and not cool at all. Not eating meat does not make him any less of a geek, or any more cool. Or sexy for that matter.




Here's a completely random one, but I kinda feel sorry for him, in a way. There's a couple of things; his name is JD Fortune (not sexy), he has tattoos that say 'human' and 'being' on each arm (not sexy) and let's face it, he tried to replace one of the sexiest front men ever, Michael Hutchence, in INXS. He had no chance. Not eating meat didn't make him any sexier. Eating meat probably wouldn't either though. Poor fella.




Don't get me wrong, I love Ke$ha as much as the next trashy pop star, but there's one thing she isn't and that's sexy. You can see it for yourself. It's like she's doing that thing where unattractive people surround themselves with large people to make themselves seem more attractive. Hanging out with will.i.am, two dogs and a bunch of bearded old men doesn't make the hair, the accessories, the everything else ok and not eating meat doesn't make everything else ok either.


To eat meat or not to eat meat, that is the question. I don't really care much whether you do or don't, but just know, not eating meat will not make you any sexier* however, neither will eating meat, for that matter. Do what you want with your life.


*My version of sexy may not be yours. You might like bad geeky jackets, bad tattoos and bad hair? Good for you. You would have loved today's post. Wait 'til you see what I've got planned next week....


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