Thursday, 6 February 2014

Where Is My Mind? - Impractically Practical

The practical pullover. Very practical and possibly something I may enjoy...apparently. 

Proudly Practical?
by Jo Michelmore

Something awful happened this week. K-Tizz sent me a text and said she wanted to catch up.

No wait, that's not the bad bit. I heart K-Tizz. Hanging out with K-Tizz is awesome. There's bound to be beverage and bitching and possibly fist pizza and much laughter. For sure. That wasn't the bad bit. This was the bad bit...

We'd decided on a night and were deciding what to do when I suggested we wait and see what said day was like before we decided whether to go out or hang at home. Then she said it.

"You're so practical. Good yes. And so it shall be."



Now I know K-Tizz and I know she meant that as a compliment. Me? I wasn't so sure that was a good thing. Isn't practical just....


After much thought, I have decided practical is not boring, but a rather important skill/talent to have. (Yeah I called it a talent. What of it?) So, this week, we'll look at some not so practical things and discover just why practical is awesome.  Last week, I left you with Pharell Williams and his little 'Happy' song, but Pharrell only reminded me of someone else who wore a bad hat, and wasn't always very practical...

Slash. That hat. Guns N Roses. This song. You wanna know what's not practical about this song? It goes for NINE MINUTES! Nine looooooooooong minutes. Nine minutes that once you've listened to the whole song, you will never, ever get back again. Nine minutes! We're living busy lives ol' Axl. We don't have nine minutes spare to listen to drivel. Get rid of the guitar solos, lose the third verse and we're talking. If your whiny voice can't say it quickly, don't bother. I'm busy being practical. I got things to do.

Not wasting nine minutes: Practical!

November Rain: Impractical!

That song reminded me of another song about rain, which is totally impractical. I mean, seriously, it's raining men? Where am I gonna get an umbrella big enough for raining men?

Avoiding large heavy objects falling from the sky: Practical!

It's Raining Men: Impractical!

Now that song of course reminded me of the version Geri Halliwell sang, which reminded me of the Spice Girls and a little song they sang about something not very practical. I mean, how's this going to work? If two become one, then whose clothes do you wear? What if one of you has size 5 feet and the other size 9? Whose feet do you get and do you have to buy a whole new lot of shoes? Or do you have one size 9 and one size 5? Balance is going to become an issue. What if one of you likes chocolate and the other is a vanilla fan? What are you going to choose at the ice cream shoppe? This is all too confusing and very impractical.

Being completely individual: Awesome and practical!

2 Become 1: Impractical!

Now that five member group reminded me of another, who sang a song that was not only impractical, but also a little gross. Nope, I don't want to know the shape of any of your hearts Backstreet Boys, I suspect they're all similar, gooey, red, bloody, and an oblong-ish shape. I did biology. I may not have listened much, but that kinda describes hearts. You don't need to show anyone your hearts. That's actually just gross.

Keeping one's hearts within one's body: Clean and practical!

Shape Of My Heart: Impractical!

See? Practical is not so bad. You don't waste time, you avoid concussion from heavy objects falling from the sky, you remain uniquely individual and you're not all creepy and gross. K-Tizz, you were right. I'm practical and proud (maybe). Next week? I'm sure my mind will be much less practical...

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