Wednesday, 5 March 2014

The K-Tizzle Sizzle - I'm Bored

Ke$ha also thinks it's all a bit blah, blah, blah.

I'm The Chairman of The Bored
by Katie Langley

Look, I’ll admit it – I love a good scandal. Yes, I’m as a sick and twisted as the next person. Perhaps it’s because my own day to day existence is fairly boring. You know how it is – eat, sleep, work, repeat. But lately I can’t help but feel unsatisfied. It feels like everyone is playing it safe. Where is the excitement?

Gone are the days of biting the heads off of bats (good one Ozzy). Lately it’s more about meat dresses and ass shaking (I’m loath to use the term ‘twerk’). It’s all just a bit blah. Yes, you heard me – blah. Ke$ha might even call it blah, blah, blah. Come on, seriously, I can’t be the only one that thinks all of this so called music drama is vanilla? Or have I just become desensitised?

Let’s just address this ass shaking thing (still not using the ‘t’ word) upfront. Please don’t try to tell me that Miley Cyrus jiggling her booty is scandalous. Honestly, I see more unwanted skin at my local gym. Young ladies have been pushing the envelope on this front for years – it feels more like a rite of passage than a scandal. I’ve got one word for you: Madonna.

Kanye West’s egotistical rants have also caused him to be the subject of some controversy, particularly his self-declared similarities with J.C. (that’s my gangsta reference for Jesus Christ, word). But guess what, Yeezus, you ain’t the first! Back in the day – 1966 to be exact – John Lennon copped a back lash for saying that The Beatles were “more popular than Jesus”. But, they were, weren’t they?

The Red Hot Chilli Peppers received a lot of criticism for their recent performance at the Super Bowl. Although performance is a term used loosely - it was revealed the rockers actually lip synced. Perhaps it’s a sad reflection of the times that I was actually not surprised by this. And although the likes of Beyonce and Ashley Simpson have been caught up in their own miming debacles, let’s not forget about Milli Vanilli. After all, it was revealed they didn’t actually sing on their hit “Girl You Know It’s True”. Really, it’s true – they didn’t sing it. Would I lie to you baby, would I lie to you?

What am I trying to say? I’m trying to say this all feels a bit passé. Oooh, look out, Justin Bieber bought a monkey. Hang on, wait. What other famous musician do we know had a pet monkey? Please don’t type that into Google or I will reach through the screen and slap you.

I can’t remember the last time I felt shocked or surprised by any of this so called scandal. Can you?

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