Wednesday, 16 April 2014

The K-Tizzle Sizzle - I Don't Know About You, But...

That's more like it.

I'm Not Feeling 22
by Katie Langley

I’m no longer getting ID’ed, I’ve discovered some grey hairs (read: silver highlights) in my mane, and I’ve just suffered through a two day hang over. It’s official – I’m old. Taylor Swift, I don’t know about you but I’m not feeling 22. In fact, right now I’m feeling about eighty-fucking-nine and would love nothing more than a nice cup of English breakfast and a digestive biscuit. No really, can someone arrange that, please?

When did this happen? When did I start saying things like “Oh, I remember when…” and tuning in more frequently to family friendly radio stations? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shut your face.

For the most part I think I do a reasonable job of staying in the loop with current music, but that doesn’t stop me from feeling about eighty-fucking-nine from time to time.

Modern music makes me feel old when… Song titles aren’t spelt properly. Take Pink’s ‘U and Ur Hand’ and Usher’s ‘U Got It Bad’. Why? I just don’t understand why. Why could they not have used the correct spelling? Does this make it hip? Cool? Or did they not have the required letters on their keyboards? Just a little Dad humour for you there.

Modern music makes me feel old when… Artists younger than me are releasing memoirs. I’m looking at you Bieb’s. Yes, at the tender age of 16 Justin Bieber released his memoir ‘First Step 2 Forever’. Really? Sure, he’s released some popular music. That’s a chapter. What else? What can he possibly have to share with me? That time he like, went to the mall, and like, hung out. Please. And do not get me started on the book title.

Modern music makes me feel old when… Song titles have hash tags in them… #thatpower, #beautiful, #liveitup, #selfie, #wank, #shouldigoon, #hashbrown, #makingshitupnow.

Modern music makes me feel old when… I go to a concert and people are less concerned with experiencing the show but more interested in getting wobbly, grainy footage for YouTube/Instagram/whatever. I watched most of Lorde’s show through a sea of arms and screens. No, people were not waving their arms in the air like they just didn’t care. In fact, they cared a little bit too much. A little bit too much about documenting every second rather than putting down the technology and just using their eyes.  A controversial idea, I know.

Modern music makes me feel old when… People at concerts wave their iPhones, not their lighters. For me, in those moments when I’m looking at the stage, heart in my throat, full of awe and wonder, I feel like waving iPhone’s around takes away from the authenticity of the experience. But you know what? I guess no one smokes here anymore…

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