Wednesday, 2 April 2014

The K-Tizzle Sizzle - Say My Name

What's my age name again?

Say My Name
by Katie Langley

"Amber", replied my sister. We were at a function and a guy made himself comfortable in the seat next to her, asking to know her name. As far as he was concerned he was Aloe Blacc and the soundtrack in his mind was 'The Man'. The conversation was going swimmingly until someone yelled from the bar “Jess! Get over here for shots!” and “Amber” rose from her chair. He turned to me in bemusement muttering something along the lines of “What the… Fake name… Amber… Jess… Huh”.

I can’t speak on behalf of Jess, but I know when I have given a fake name it’s because of one of the following reasons:
(a)    You’re an idiot/I don’t like you/you annoy me
(b)    You seem nice but I need some time to properly assess if you have serial killer qualities
(c)    My alter ego has come out to play

Do you think Beyonce has ever used her alter ego on a night out? Sasha Fierce was the name she adopted to showcase her more sultry style following her transition from girl next door to diva bombshell. However Beyonce has since dropped the alter ego, claiming she doesn’t need the second persona. Boring.

At the 2011 MTV Video Music Awards Lady Gaga introduced us to her alter ego Jo Calderone – a drag, James Dean-esque type character. Whilst some peeps, notably Justin Bieber, appeared [dazed] and confused, I think it made more sense to me than her entrance in an egg.

It’s not always sunshine and lollipops as demonstrated by Eminem. His pseudonym is more of the sinister kind. According to the man himself “Slim Shady is just the evil thoughts that come into my head, things I shouldn’t be thinking about”.  My evil thoughts usually just involved bronzed half naked men and a life time supply of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream.

There is always one person that has to take things to the next level and that person is Tori Amos. She clearly felt that one alias was, like, so passé, and instead created four more! For her 2007 American Doll Posse album and tour Tori created personalities inspired by Greek mythology. Clyde, Isabel, Santa and Pip all joined Tori on tour, and they even had their own blogs. Not weird at all.

Next time you’re on a night out, having a conversation with a nice guy/girl, just stop to think – Are you talking to Beyonce or Sasha Fierce? Eminem or Slim Shady?

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