Thursday, 5 June 2014

The A to Z of Pop - H is for Hollywood

The A to Z of Pop
by Jo Michelmore

Apparently there's this thing, it's quite popular, it's called the cin-e-ma. People watch these moving images on big screens in dark rooms and they call it 'going to the movies'. You know what else? Lots of people seem to like it. Ok, ok, I exxagerate, I do actually know what movies are, but the thing is, they've just never really been my thing.

When I was a small child, my parents never had the luxury of sittiing me down in front of a TV to entertain me for a while, because I was never that interested in it. When I was a teenager, all I wanted to know was which music channels were available on the pay TV packages and well, this disinterest in (most) film has continued into my current existense. When I get home, I don't chuck the telly on, I chuck my ipod on. Or on fancy days, I bother to put some vinyl on, old school style. It's just the way it is.  That, however, is not to say I don't like a good film, it's just not the first thing I think of when I think of entertainment. I'm more interested in the soundtrack than the moving pictures. Which brings me to the letter H in the A to Z of Pop, for this week, my lack of interest in cinema was bought to my attention when I heard that the soundtrack to 'Frozen' is now the number one selling digital soundtrack of all time. Frozen, huh? This is a film. I've barely heard of it, but I know that song.  This same phenomena has occurred many times in my life, like for example...

Yeah, yeah, I've never seen Moulin Rouge. What of it? I've seen THE Moulin Rouge, in the flesh. I sat outside it with one of my best friends while he recoiled in horror at the idea of me not seeing the film and proceeded to tell me of the entire plot, storyline and soundtrack to said film over numerous cigarettes. That should count for something. One day I'll sit through the whole thing but until then, it's just 128 minutes made to promote the song that taught us all how to say "do you want to sleep with me tonight?" Yes, I know you've forgotten, that's what that bit means.

Well, this will cause some controversy. It's true. The Lion King. I've never seen it. What of it? Maybe I fell asleep somewhere in between a hyena stampede and some kind of sunset over a rock. That happened in that film didn't it? Really, it was just 88 minutes designed to re-invigorate Elton's career, wasn't it?

I don't mean to alarm anyone, but yes, it's true, I have not seen Titanic. What of it? While the old saying "but I know the ending anyway" stands true, there is one other reason I've never sat through shots of Leonardo Di Caprio and Kate Winslet looking wistfully at each other and that reason is this. I have heard this song enough times to make up to the 194 minutes that were made to promote it. The sounds of those flutes send shivers up my spine everytime I hear them. Spoiler alert! The boat sinks. 

Which brings us to the song that inspired this whole 'H' thing anyway. Frozen. This one seems very dramatic, the keys, that broadway voice begging me to get emotional, the dramatic strings. Nope, I still have no interest in 102 minutes of a cartoon about winter. Wasn't that Ice Age? It's just a Danish fairytale and I'd rather go back to Denmark than sit through that. I really don't get this film thing, do I? Oh well, lucky for you I write on a music blog, not a movie blog. Maybe.

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