Friday, 15 August 2014

The A to Z of Pop - R is for Rock AND Pop, Like Ketchup and Curry.

This is probably the worst letter so far. It's more a dysfunctional P than R, right?

The A to Z of Pop
by Jo Michelmore

The other night, the conversation in my household involved what everyone was eating for dinner. My housemates were talking protein and vegetables, while I was thinking about chips. (I think about potato based delights a lot. Don't judge me. I also think of gelati quite a bit. Shut up.) The conversation somehow turned to curry and the concept of putting tomato ketchup on a curry. This disgusted me. Who would do such a thing? Why ruin two perfectly delicious things by combining them? Which strangely brings us to the 'R' in the A to Z of Pop. Rock. While I've patiently worked my way through 18 letters of the alphabet all the while wishing I'd started the A to Z of Rock first, there are some things that shouldn't be put together. Like ketchup and curry, like ice cream and tomatoes, pop and rock are beautiful things, but sometimes (most times, unless you're incredibly intoxicated) they should be enjoyed...totally separately.

Like when 80s rockers Def Leppard, who we shall call the ketchup, decided it would be a good idea if Taylor Swift, who we shall call the curry, joined them on their classic 'Pour Some Sugar On Me', but it turned out Taylor awkwardly singing to a man twice her age about what one should do to breakfast cereal, not herself. Like ketchup and curry, like rock and pop - we say no.

But they didn't learn their lesson, and the old man from Def Leppard, the ol' vindaloo themselves, sang 'Love Story' with Taylor, who we shall call the ketchup, and the vindaloo crooned about being the ketchup's Prince, but they were no royalty, they were more like her grandfathers and everyone just looked totally awkward and not tasty the whole time. Like ketchup and curry, like rock and pop - we say no.

That same old butter chicken, Def Leppard have obviously let just about anyone cover their songs so they can keep their retirement fund healthy. Mariah Carey, who we shall call the ketchup, sang one of their songs and also got one of my fave guitarists of all time, Dave Navarro (who for this exercise we shall call gelati) somehow got involved and everyone looked totally awkward on stage. Like ketchup and curry and gelati combined, like rock and pop - we say no.

Once upon a time, Iggy Pop met Kesha....oh I can't even. This is awful. This is worse than ketchup and curry, worse than fish fingers and custard, like rock and pop, somethings should not be consumed together - and we say NO!

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