Wednesday, 3 September 2014

The K-Tizzle Sizzle - Nicki Min-nahhhh


Nicki Minaj's latest song might be rubbish, but the memes that have accompanied have been A+.


Nicki Min-nahhhh
by Katie Langley


I have been feeling quite apathetic lately, to the point where I had begun to wonder if I had any sizzle material left in me. Have I run out of hate? Have I stopped caring? Is a name change to “fence sitting” or “meh” more suitable? No sooner had I begun this soul searching when something magical happened. I heard and saw the video for a song which lighted the fire in my belly and the annoyance in my heart – Nicki Minaj’s “Anaconda”. Run out of hate? Don't be silly.



It’s hard to know exactly where to start… But is she fucking serious?


Personally, I’ve always thought that Nicki Minaj was devoid of any actual talent, but up until this point haven’t wasted much thought on her.  I acknowledge that whilst she isn’t exactly my cup of tea, there are plenty of other people out there who enjoy her music (that was really hard to type). After all, variety is the spice of life and all that. Look, you’ve read my posts – you know I am far from being a musical elitist. My taste could be considered questionable at best. But this is exactly my point. For someone with a very low bar already, ole Minaj still doesn’t cross the line for me.


“Anaconda” is the most un-original, blatant attempt at a cash grab I have ever seen. Nicki has attempted to play the nostalgia card, sampling Sir Mix-A-Lot's "Baby Got Back", with some recycled lyrics in her "rapping" for good measure. She's taken a song that we already loved, and shat all over it. Although, I'm not sure who I should be more annoyed at, Nicki or Sir Mix-A-Lot? After all, he did grant permission for her to use the sampling. I'm not angry Sir Mix-A-Lot, just disappointed.




As if the first few moments of "Anaconda" weren't difficult enough to get through, things actually manage to take a turn for the worst at approximately 3 minutes 26 seconds where we're treated to crazed laughing, ramblings about "skinny bitches", serial killer breathing and what could only be described as animal mating calls.


Nicki, I get it, you have a rather large bottom. And whilst I think it's great you've got such a positive self image, surely you have more in your bag of tricks? You've got buns hun, and are desperately trying to piggyback off of the success of a one hit wonder from the early 90s, but what else?


Nicki Minaj? Nicki Min-nahhhh thanks!


1 comment:

  1. I like Nicki Minaj I am 13 and I have a life threatning diesae and I want 2 meat her

    ReplyDelete

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