Thursday, 25 September 2014

The A to Z of Pop - W is for WTF




The A to Z of Pop
by Jo Michelmore


It was actually a couple of weeks ago that I first knew what the W in the A to Z of Pop would stand for. One part of me just wanted to post clips of Robbie Williams, another part of me wanted to post pics of pop stars that deserve the hashtag that has become popular amongst those of our IMKOS team who attended BIGSOUND - #wankwankwank (and no, I myself do not think Robbie Williams and that hashtag could be one and the same thing, although I understand a lot of people would disagree with me). 


W was inspired when a friend of mine got out of their car one day to meet me and proclaimed upon seeing me; "Pop music. Like, just...WTF?" (yes, they did use the letters, not the words and hence the G-rating of this post). When I enquired as to what they meant exactly, they described their confusion at the songs they had recently heard on the radio and why they were angry and a more than a little confused. Now, dear readers, I shall share their confusion with you and maybe you can shed some light on the matter. Or not. Either way, I'm gonna admit, I kinda agree with my friend and I guess that's why we're friends.




"I'm bringing booty back"


Er, Meghan, where do you think booty went? Booty has actually never gone anywhere, except for maybe a brief year or two in the early 90s when heroin chic became such a thing, but even then, Sir-Mix-A-Lot was going on about Becky's butt well before Nicki started on about anacondas, so how could you possibly be bringing it back? WTF?




"Bring the beat back"


Katy, the beat never went anywhere. Just because you decided to ignore it with what I personally consider is your worst song, the actual beat never disappeared. It's written into your freakin song. The beat never went anywhere. You stopped it. This is a tool sometimes used in music. Stop pretending you didn't know it was going to happen. WTF?




"Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks?"


You know what Sheeran? The cheek is actually the soft part of your face below your eyes. If your eyes were on your cheeks, they'd actually be in the middle of your face, next to your nose and that would just be weird. Or they'd be on your butt and now we're just getting back to old mate Trainor and her claim to bring booty back from somewhere and this is why I dedicated the S in the A to Z of Pop to you. WTF?

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