Wednesday, 29 April 2015

The K-Tizzle Sizzle - It's The End of the World As We Know It...

How do The Cranberries think the world is going to end? Zombie, zombie, zombie.

... And I Feel Fine
by Katie Langley

Forget about all of the latest and greatest TV shows with Vikings and bikers and high powered lawyers. There’s only one you need to concern yourself with and that’s Doomsday Preppers. It details the lives of “survivalists” and the lengths that will go to in order to prepare for an end of the world scenario. The people have all sorts of different and whacky (some actually not so whacky) theories about how shit is going to go down, and the best way to survive if it does. It mostly involves stockpiling a lot of canned goods, and having your family and friends think you’re bat shit crazy for doing so.

It’s got me thinking about my own preparations in an apocalyptic event. The only ideas I’ve come up with so far are:

  • Taking over someone else’s underground bunker (there may need to be some kind of weapons or kung-fu in order to achieve this). I mean, why put in effort when someone else has done it already?
  • Using mice as an energy source (running on their little wheels), because solar energy is so passé. They can also serve as a food source. Mmm, mice.
  • Buying lots of canned goods.

Musicians like to think about the end of the world too. And sing about it.

‘It's The End Of The World’ - R.E.M.

It just wouldn’t be an end of the world song list without this bad boy. It’s actually surprisingly upbeat and makes me feel OK about the possibility of hiding out in a bunker with a tin of sardines. And mice.

 ‘Doomsday Clock’ - Smashing Pumpkins


Ole William (he doesn’t want to be referred to Billy any more, you know?) Corgan has a doomsday clock ticking in his heart… because despite all his rage he’s still just a rat in a cage. I couldn’t help myself.

 ‘Last Day on Earth’ – Marilyn Manson


Marilyn Manson has a song about the end of the world and it only seems fitting that I share a live version from a concert on 21 December 2012 – the date we were all supposed to go out according to Mayan literature. Alanis Morissette would be so proud.

 ‘When The Sun Buns Red’ – Kreator

German thrash metal band Kreator think that Mother Nature is where it’s going to go wrong -

“Hailstorms, tornadoes
Cold spells, untimely frosts
Heat waves and blizzards
Global death's the cost”

‘Edge of a Revolution’ – Nickelback


I thought it would be entertaining to throw some Nickelback into the mix. When I say entertaining I really mean “entertaining”, with an eye roll. This song is an attempt to call on people to unite before it’s all too late. I'd rather throw myself in the path of a hungry zombie rather than live in a world where Nickelback have an ability to influence behaviour for the better.

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