Isn't Really A Song At All
by Jo Michelmore
I've spent years trying to figure out if The Vapors were insanely offensive or not. I don't know, but the mullet definitely was.
The Police didn't have much to say, but what they did say, they said over and over and over and (over and over) and again.
The Bangles insisted on that annoyingly catchy "ay oh whey oh, ay oh whey oh" to start with until that god forsaken whistling kicked in.
Who knew there was a place called Aruba somewhere near Jamaica, let alone some old man thought you were a pretty mama and wanted to take you there before The Beach Boys worst song ever got stuck in your head? And the only way to get that awful tune out of your mind is to replace it with another, which brings us to the most annoying piece of music of all of the 80s, which isn't really a song but a theme, and one we all know is actually also the best.
Beep boop beep boop doob da doop....beep boop beep boop doob da doop...beep boop beep boop doob da doop....beep boop beep boop doob da doop etc. You're welcome.