Thursday, 23 July 2015

10 and 1 - My Anaconda Don't Want None Unless You Got Bad Blood


Things that are totally worth fighting about... VMA nominations.


SOME VIDEOS FOR MTV'S CONSIDERATION...
by Matt Bond


Do you like that snazzy title I came up with? I sure hope no one else has thought of it. I even Googled it to make sure no one has. Snazzy, right? Anyway, because I'm hip to what the kids are jiving to these days, I hear that Nicki Minaj has 'beef' with her lack of 'nomm-age' in the category for Video Of The Year at the upcoming MTV Video Music Awards. 


History lesson... MTV stands for Music TeleVision. It's a channel on the TV box that used to be like I am, hip to what the kids are jiving to, and once upon a time played only music and shows that featured animated characters making fun of music. Now it has shows like the Scream series no one wanted and some reality shows about teen mums or something. I don't really know. They also bust out the Video Music Awards once a year to pretend they still care about music. In the past, the VMA's honoured iconic clips like Sinead O'Connor's 'Nothing Compares 2 U', The Smashing Pumpkins' 'Tonight Tonight' and Lauryn Hill's 'Doo Wop (That Thing)' with the title of Video of the Year. More recently, winners have included Beyonce's 'Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)', Rihanna's 'We Found Love' and Lady Gaga's 'Bad Romance'. 


This year's ceremony promises to be a delight, with Miley Cyrus hosting and the Video of the Year category being contested by Beyonce's '7-11', Kendrick Lamar's 'Alright', Mark Ronson's 'Uptown Funk', Ed Sheeran's 'Thinking Out Loud' and T-baby Swift's 'Bad Blood'. Notably absent, in the mind of the artist, is Nicki Minaj's 'Anaconda'. A video that features one of my favourite YouTube comments of all time... "This porn has an intriguing soundtrack." Minaj busted out some commentary on her influence on pop culture that you can catch up on ANYWHERE if you haven't already and really, you can't argue with it. 'Anaconda' is one of the most viewed clips of all time on YouTube and it showed everyone what twerking is supposed to be. Truly impressive booty shaking to be viewed right there. Miley, take note. 


Minaj made comments about gals of a more slender frame getting nominated and not her, which brought Tay to her yard with her usual GIRRL POWER enthusiasm and then Nicki was like, "bitch, did I name you?! Naw." And then a highly confident Swifty was all like, "Lolz, luv you bae, you wanna come on stage with me when I win?" And then Taylor was out of there while Minaj went on a bit of a tangent. I guess it would be hard for Taylor not to be thinking it was directed at her personally. None of the other videos were jam-packed with gals of a more slender frame, were they? I'm trying to be so PC here, give me points for that. Nicki would go on to talk about Ellen and Beyonce loving her video, how she thought the 'Feeling Myself' collab-video with her and Beyonce should be nominated too and that people hate Tidal and love Taylor for taking her music off Spotify. I'm sorry, I think I'm over how lame this is now. The only question we need to ask is... Is the video for 'Anaconda' of a high enough quality to be nominated for 'Video of the Year'. In my humble opinion, it is not. Nicki Minaj is beautiful and much more talented than what 'Anaconda' would suggest. Her 'Pinkprint Movie' was actually impressive and beautifully shot. The video for 'Anaconda' was painfully average, much like the song.


So... you're waiting for me to get to the '10 and 1' part of my rambling and here it comes. Ten videos that deserve to be nominated for 'Video Of The Year' at this year's VMA's instead of 'Anaconda'. And if you want to put yourself through it one more time... You've figured out what the one is, right? 


THE TEN:


THE NEW INTERNATIONAL SOUND PT. II
by GENER8ION + M.I.A




WHAT KIND OF MAN
by Florence + The Machine





GEORGIA
by Vance Joy 




PEDESTRIAN AT BEST
by Courtney Barnett





LIONSONG
by Bjork





DOWN TO EARTH
by Flight Facilities 
 




BITCH BETTER HAVE MY MONEY
by Rihanna





BLANK SPACE
by Taylor Swift





Because it's way better than 'Bad Blood'. 


RADIOFACE
by Gang of Youths




 THE PINKPRINT MOVIE
by Nicki Minaj




THE ONE:


ANACONDA
by Nicki Minaj





Art.

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