It's All Coming Back To Me Now - I'd Rather Have a Root Canal, Thanks

James Blunt, looking as attractive as ever. No wonder I'd rather visit the dentist.

Nah, I'd Rather Have A Root Canal, Thanks

by Jo Michelmore

As a person who writes on a music blog, I can tell you, inspriation comes in all sorts of strange ways. Sometimes it can be a youtube clip you've stumbled across, sometimes it can be a conversation, sometimes it can be what you overhear on public transport or in a queue and sometimes, every now and then, inspiration arrives in even stanger places.


Recently, I found myself at the dentist. Just a routine checkup, thanks. This resulted in a procedure I wasn't expecting....the root canal. Now, to some people those two words are incredibly scary, but let me put your mind at ease. It's alright, you know? Just a dental procedure, none of them are that pleasant so you just do what you gotta do and get these things done. Luckily, my dentist is a lovely guy and while working on my teeth had a one sided (are they any other way when the dentist has his fingers in your mouth?) conversation with me about Abba. It was rivetting, let me tell you.


After he'd finished, I noticed the 'soothing' music playing in the surgery; Macy Gray followed by Kelly Clarkson. Neither too offensive, but it did get me thinking about this - while Kelly and Macy are ok, there are some songs I hate. Songs that drive me crazy. So that brings me to the inspiration for this week, which struck me in the dentists chair....


Sometimes, I'd rather have a root canal than have to listen to...

...anything by Blink 182. Just saying. But also...


Something not too old, but completely hate worthy. Since 2004, people have played this at weddings, which has always confused me, because it's actually kind of creepy, about a guy stalking a girl on a train and to make it even better, they never get together. 'You're Beautiful'? More like wedding song for the future divorcee. How romantic.


James Blunt? I'd rather have a root canal than listen to this...

 

While James Blunt has that annoyingly high voice, I'll take us to the other end of the spectrum, those crazy Canadians with the deep voiced singer, the Crash Test Dummies, from 1993. I don't know if they're crazy, in fact, I know nothing about them, other than to say that twenty years ago they performed one of the most annoying songs of all time. Even the name is annoying; 'Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm'. It just made radio announcers and music TV hosts sound like they had a speech impediment. 

Crash Test Dummies? I'd rather have a root canal than listen to this...

 

While we're in the 90's let's talk one of the most annoying songs I think has ever been recorded. I don't know why, but there's just something, something incredibly irritating about those first notes and then those first words "I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes". What? Somekind of fungal infection? Love Is All Around? Nope. There's no love anywhere with this song. This is so incredibly average, so middle of the road it makes me ill. I just can't stand it.  It was also played a bazillion times in 1994, which probably doesn't help it's cause. To top it all of, it was recorded by a band called Wet Wet Wet. There's nothing to like here.


Wet Wet Wet? I'd rather have a root canal than listen to this...

Just because I'm actually a nice blogger, and I don't want you to have to suffer much more, I'll leave you with just one more. Let's give the 80's some credit for awful-ness-ness. Lionel Richie just seemed to have this way of being....creepy, but in 1985, I think he was the creepiest. Not only does 'Say You, Say Me' have an incredibly weird bridge, where a ballad suddenly turns into an 80's dance number, but it also contains the lyrics;

"I had a dream I had an awesome dream, 
people in the park playing games in the dark 
and what they played was a masquerade
and from behind walls of doubt a voice was crying out" 

Well Lionel, you can say 'you' all you want, but don't ever say 'me' as well, 'cause that's a park I don't want to find myself in after dark. Creep.

Lionel Richie? I'd rather have a root canal than listen to this...

 

You Wanna Go To Eurovision?

EUROVISION 2013:

The Benefits of Crazy Ideas...

by Jo Michelmore, living it up in Europe!

Eurovision. It's done. It's over for another year. I explained the beginning a few weeks ago, just a simple Eurovision gathering in a friends lounge room last year and an innocent conversation turned into an adventure I had only ever dreamt of, but it's happened. I have been to Eurovision. At the thought of the idea, I was questioned; "You're doing what?" and some mocked, but those that got it really got it and something that sounds so complicated from somewhere as far away as Australia was actually so very simple.


That conversation, "you wanna go to Eurovision?" and the answer "why not?" turned into the holiday of the year and a night I'll never forget. Sometimes crazy ideas really are crazy and that's what makes them the best and sometimes crazy ideas teach you valuable lessons.


Sweden is a beautiful country and Malmö, host to this years Eurovision was breathtaking, but this isn't a travel blog, so I'll save those stories for somewhere else. However, in the cobblestone streets of that delightful little town is where my Eurovision experience truly began. I witnessed a little teen hysteria first hand. When you see cameras and minders and hear girls squealing in the street, you just have to investigate. A little running, dodging of traffic, a couple of Swedish apologies and what we found was a group of people gathered around a cute boy, who we later found out was Robin Stjernberg, Sweden's entry in Eurovision and runner up in Swedish Idol. It's funny how hysteria works, because even though I had no idea who he was, a little teenage part of me wanted a photo....


Lesson one: when you hear teen hysteria, investigate. You can only be rewarded and trust me, it's hilarious.

 

That excitement done, next we stumbled across Julia Zemiro, host of Australia's telecast of Eurovision. It was probably the loud Australian accent that gave it away, Julia with bags of shopping and a girl, chatting so excitedly to her about how she'd traveled all this way to see the spectacle. I'm sure Julia is a lovely lady, but my friend and I watched from a distance and witnessed the slow backward movements Julia was making, trying desperately to get away so she could finish her shopping, have a coffee and buy another souvenir. Just seeing her in the street was enough for us, it made Eurovision seem like an actual reality. It was. It actually was.


Lesson two: people on the TV like shopping in peace too. Don't bother them too much. They need a Sweden snowdome as much as the next tourist. Leave them be.

 

Malmö Arena is not large, but the excitement that surrounded it at Eurovision time was massive. The crowds were covered in flags of every country imaginable (European and various others) and the positive vibe of the fans is not like any I've experienced at any gig before. I've no idea of most of what was being said or sung around me, but it was all being done with a smile, so I like to think it was all good. Someone handed us flags, I have no idea which country they represented, but that flag was waved at every opportunity, just like the magical light up wristband we were given as a memento. It's not hard to have fun at Eurovision, the pop beats are addictive and the songs are simple; don't think, just enjoy.


Lesson three: sometimes the karaoke rule applies to other aspects of life too. Open heart, open mind and everyone has fun.

 

The girl that sat next to me in the arena was alone. She showed me her ticket and in broken English asked me if she was in the right seat. I said yes and we proceeded to have a conversation about how we all got to Eurovision. She was from Russia and had traveled to Sweden that day just to see her favourite singer, Dina Garipova. She loved that we were all the way from Australia and when we said our fave was Denmark, she agreed to cheer loudly when they performed. We did the same for our new Russian friends fave.


Lesson four: Sometimes it's worth chatting to strangers. You never know, you might end up dancing to cheesy pop music with them and that's unforgettable.

 

The night was too short, but at the end my face was hurting from smiling so much. There was glitter, there were fireworks, there was a giant man and some cute boys, there were undisguised political statements, a lot of choreography, there was Loreen and a whole lot of hilariously catchy pop songs. It's a once in a lifetime experience I hope to make a two, three, four and more times in a lifetime experience.

 

Ultimately, the biggest lesson is this. Sometimes you or someone you know are going to have some crazy ideas in life. Don't ignore them. Remember those crazy conversations. Have them again and again. Take those ideas and follow through with them, make them reality, turn them into memories you'll never forget. What do you have to lose? If they don't work out you'll have a really good time planning them. Thankfully, my love of all things music took me to a holiday far away from home, to places I may never have visited otherwise. Eurovision is now forever one of those crazy ideas I brought to life...and a whole bunch of hilarious memories and stories that my beautiful friend and I will share for a long time.

 

Here's a crazy idea. Eurovision 2014? We're going. Anyone else interested?

The K-Tizzle Sizzle - Greatest Disappointments, Vol. I

Greatest Disappointments, Vol. I

Because sometimes things suck...

by Katie Langley

A couple of weeks ago I was invited to a breakfast where Sir Richard Branson was speaking. Maybe I let the hype get to me? Maybe I built it up too much in my mind? Maybe Dick was hung-over? All I know with certainty is that the event could be summed up in one word – disappointing. Richard was not the confident, charismatic man that I had heard about but rather nervous and bumbling. T, t, t, today junior!

Katie's disappointment was thiiiiis big.

Later that day I saw Example play at The Tivoli. Maybe I let the hype get to me? Maybe I built it up too much in my mind? Maybe I was jaded from the Dick experience? Yes, it was a disappointment. I was expecting more of a drum’n’bass feel, or at the very least being able to hear these instruments given the impressive nature of the drum kit. But all I heard was tsss tsss tsss. The synth was turned up so high that my ears ached the entire next day.

Earlier in the year Mindless Self Indulgence played at the Soundwave Festival. I’ve been a fan of their music for a couple of years now. It’s quirky and cheeky. They were scheduled to play early in the day so I bathed in sunscreen and kitted up first thing. Vocalist Jimmy Urine spoke to the crowd and I knew then that things were going to go from bad to worse. I’ll admit there’s a certain arrogance to Jimmy that’s part of their style, but he came across as a bitter, self-involved arsehole.

My love of cheesy rap and r’n’b took me to The Arena a couple of years ago to see Chingy. Yes, you read that correctly. My critical error was agreeing to be the designated driver. At 1am squeezed in between gangsta wannabes with no Chingy in sight I began to regret my decision. When he did finally grace us with his presence I was too tired and annoyed to really care.

That right thurr is disappointing.

In the pop punk glory days I tried to ride the Blink 182 wave. In the lead up to the 2000 Big Day Out I bought their CD’s and learned all the words. I bought converse shoes and put in my own checked shoelaces. Turns out my money would’ve been better spent on, I don’t know, anything else… An extra dagwood dog? Driving lessons? The amount of fart jokes told was out of control. I’m all for crowd interaction, but there’s a point at which one must shut up and just play.

There’s nothing worse than a disappointing live music experience. Well, there is, but you don’t want to hear about the time I fell arse over tit at work losing my shoes, papers and dignity. Or do you?

Gig Review - Deftones

DEFTONES

Live @ The Tivoli, Brisbane (14/05/13)

Review by Katie Langley

 

Walking into The Tivoli last Tuesday evening to see the Deftones I was filled with such anticipation. They have been one of the few bands over the years to whom my love has been unconditional. I've always felt an affinity with their music, through my teenage years and beyond. And without sounding like too much of a fan girl, Chino's vocals still make me go weak at the knees.


I timed my arrival perfectly, as the band opened with "Rocket Skates". I spent "Diamond Eyes" finding the perfect spot to set up shop, and found myself with a side stage view. The crowd was taken on a trip down memory lane with "Be Quiet And Drive (Far Away)" and "Shove It (My Own Summer)". I was amazed and delighted to see how many people were singing along.
Other highlights included current single "Swerve City" and old favourites "Around the Fur" and "Change (In The House of Flies)".

My side stage view was the perfect vantage point to take in all of the on stage antics. There were moments when Chino flipped on his hood and did his gangsta lean when I was convinced I'd been teleported back to the 90's. One lucky punter was invited on stage to sing during the encore and you could feel the jealously pulsing through the room. It was such a cool moment, made cooler when he dived into the crowd. I saw the guy moments later and he was shaking and grinning like mad.


Yes, the show was laced with nostalgia but Deftones proved they've still got 'it', and they're still relevant. They took us from Adrenaline through to Koi No Yokan, and I loved every moment.

New Music Monday #53

This Mess EP

by This Mess (out now)

The Electronica genre holds a massive piece of my musical heart, with some of my first true music loves being part of this expansive category; Goldfrapp, Bjork, Moloko, Portishead and Everything But the Girl, just to name a few. This Mess are a duo of music fledglings hailing from Illawarra, NSW, who according to their Facebook page have had a big 2012 and have some pretty high calibre engineering expertise in the studio on their current EP. Let me give you the low down on what they have to offer this golden genre after I checked out their self titled EP this week.

Gentle ebbing and flowing in a dream like state, trimmed with gentle pulsing beats is something this duo seem to have down pat. Each song on their current EP is filled with beautiful synth, hypnotic beats and dreamy atmosphere to boot. Portions of it take me back to the late nineties/early noughties electro and alternative scenes (think George and Everything But The Girl), with hints of current darlings of alternative music like The XX.

After consuming each song several times, listening and probing; making assumptions and conclusions, I find them an appealing band in most aspects, they certainly show promise, though I don't feel totally captured. For a seemingly heavily produced sound, they deliver some of the goods, however there is still some polishing to be done before they release a full length album. Compared to their earlier single 'Two Hands' the vocals seem to be lacking a bit of the soul and grunt which was so good in that. Though well sung and "pretty", they are a little "paint by numbers" or generic in comparison. The question I ask is how will they make themselves stand out from their peers? I'm by no means a music pro but I know what I love and although they have the basic recipe, they need to add some ups and downs and light and dark to the formula with a little more oomph in the vocal to make their way into my music collection.

All in all this really is a collection of beautifully put together music offering a sweet, laid back Sunday afternoon listen. I'm interested to hear more of this duo to see how they grow musically over the next few years. Maybe with a few more stand out singles like 'Two Hands' they could be a force to be reckoned with. This Mess' self titled EP is worth a listen and I'll be keeping an eye on them but for now I'm giving it 3 Karen O heads out of five.

Nayt Housman gives the This Mess EP three Karen O heads out of five...

New Slaves

by Kanye West

Album: Yeezus (June 18, 2013)

Oh Kanye, you ego-maniacal music genius. Calling your new album Yeezus? It's so easy to forgive such an arrogant move when he releases a track like 'New Slaves.' West returns to his College Dropout roots to explore racism, politics, consumerism and social injustice right from the opening line in which he discusses his mother being born in a pre-civil rights world. The music is more stripped back this time around, a bare bones percussive synth line keeps you hooked on Kanye's rhymes. He definitely wants his message to be heard. Frank Ocean shows up too and does that thing he does where he sings all nice like. Even though it's title is going to appear in a few 'Worst Album Names of All Time' lists, Yeezus is already on its way to becoming another Kanye classic. 

Matt Bond gives 'New Slaves' five Jay-Z heads out of five...

Ooh La La

by Britney Spears

Album: The Smurfs 2 OST (???, 2013)

Britney is back and this time it's a little less, "it's Britney, bitch," and a little more, "it's Britney, darling children of the world." 'Ooh La La' is aimed at children to promote The Smurfs 2, but that doesn't mean it's not terrible. It both sucks and blows, but hey, I ain't the intended audience so whatevs. What we should really take this moment to reflect on is the fact that Britters heads back into the studio this week to begin recording her eighth studio album. Cause for concern or celebration? Set your awareness levels to concerned because she'll be accompanied by will.i.am and the alleged album title is #britney. Be alert, not alarmed. 

Matt Bond gives Ooh La La one Dannii Minogue head out of five...

City Riots

by The Wrath

Buckle up baby, because The Wrath's 'City Riots' will take you on fast and furious ride. But make no mistake, there's nothing Vin Diesel about these Gold Coast rockers. While vocalist Tommy Creeper croons through the track, it's delivered with a real punk rock snarl. Spectre Deano and Carina Hellbunny Deluxe inject the 'oi' attitude on guitars. 'City Riots' is guaranteed to make you curl your lip, stamp your feet and head butt anyone who gets in your way.

Katie Langley gives City Riots three Alanis heads out of five...

 

NEW MUSIC VIDEO OF THE WEEK:

Fall

by The Presets

Album: Pacifica (2012)

The Presets certainly aren't ones for sticking to the norm when it comes to music videos. With current single 'Fall', one of the most chart-worthy tracks from last year's incredible Pacifica, they've chosen to take things in a more literal direction with the clip. It is amazing what people are capturing on film these days and the captivating images of these two French dudes in Presets face masks falling out of the sky are amazing. With that said, by going with a visually arresting but still kinda boring video, I feel they've done 'Fall' an injustice. It seems that they've gone out of their way with Pacifica to shy away from the success earned with Apocalypso. Here they've got a track that should be sitting at the top of charts and unfortunately the video doesn't match that. Which is probably exactly what they wanted.

Matt Bond gives the video for Fall three Kylie heads out of five...

FREE DOWNLOAD OF THE WEEK:

West End

by Astrid and The Asteroids
download linkage

Hey! You know that awesome track 'West End' we reviewed last week? Well you can go get a sweet, sweet download of it right now over at triple J Unearthed! Viva la anti-faux-hipster revolution!